BigBoy Monthly Manifest 25.05.15 – The Ides Have It: A March Toward Madness

Forget the IDES of March – This is the IDES of Mayhem!

NO BACKSTABBERS. NO ESCAPE. NO MERCY.

The warning signs were there. The whispers in the wind. The uneasy silence before the riot. The calendar says May not March, but the Great Ape sees the knives already drawn. This ain’t Rome, but the betrayal runs just as deep, and the madness rides shotgun.

Welcome back, my Full-Throttle Funky Finks—the ones who know that history doesn’t repeat, it just gets louder. This ain’t a month for the cautious, the hesitant, or the ones looking for an easy exit. The BigBoy Monthly Manifest doesn’t beg for forgiveness, and it damn sure won’t ask for permission. You either keep up or get steamrolled.

This time, we storm the gates of pulp-fueled rebellion—from maverick muscle cars to underground comics, from high-voltage rock ‘n’ roll to forgotten sci-fi futures that never arrived. The past gets gutted, the future gets re-wired, and the only thing left standing is the raw, unfiltered NOW.

THE GREAT APE SEES ALL. THE GREAT APE KNOWS. THE GREAT APE APPROVES.

One step closer to the Lobotomy Lounge. You’ve been warned.

What’s Inside?

The Bigboy Manifest delivers another brain-blasting, nostalgia-fueled collection of the wildest, weirdest, and most unstoppable bits of history, pop culture, and pulp-fueled mayhem. If you’re still standing after last time, congratulations—you’re built different.

• The ‘80s Hair Hall of Fame – Hair Today, Hell Toupee! – Wavy hair or waving goodbye? Either way, this was the decade where bigger was better, styling products were weapons, and gravity was a mere suggestion.
• Somebody Put Something in My Drink! – A skeletal stranger walks into the joint, and all he wants is a glass of water. A toast to the darkest panels in comic history.
• Turn That Sucker Up, Babe! – Tube amps, the birth of the electric roar, and the moment music went from melody to mayhem.
• 1916 Packard Twin Six Experimental Racer – A V12 masterpiece before V12s were cool. The machine that proved luxury could be loud.
• Not Surprisingly, This Man Was Never Seen Again. – A photo. A tunnel of doom. The kind of forbidden experiment that leaves only questions.
• Gonzo, Lightning, and the Final Muppets Film Before the Disney Takeover – The scene that sent Gonzo to the stars and marked the end of an era.
• The Good, The Bad, and The Graveyard – Spaghetti western legends, ghost towns, and a final showdown where the dead don’t stay buried.
• Corinthian Archaeology – The Most Dapper Discovery Ever Made – A Spanish archaeologist finds an ancient helmet and takes it for a spin. When fashion meets history, the results are timeless.
• The Great Ape Knows! – Obscure facts that sound smarter, confuse people, and earn the Great Ape’s seal of approval.
• Mail-Order Madness: If You Ain’t Decorating, You Ain’t Dominating – Giant Spidey? A towering Cornelius? Snap-together ape cavalry? The era when mail-order catalogs turned bedrooms into pulp magazine covers and kids into kings. No cement needed—just dreams and pocket change.
• The Sci-Fi Visions That Never Came True – Futures promised, futures lost. The wildest sci-fi pulp ideas that never made it off the page.
• Somebody Turned the Volume to 11—Now We Can’t Find the Walls – The birth of amplification, the rise of distortion, and the sound that shook the world.
• Horror High – Guess Who We Just Did? – Yearbook photos never looked so deadly. Horror icons before they donned the masks, fangs, and blood-soaked outfits.
• The Magnus Chord Organ Presents: Easy Funeral Hits! – Mourning never sounded so effortless. The forgotten relic of living room requiems and unintentional doom-laden jams.
• Poison Ivy & The Cramps – Rock and Roll’s Femme Fatale – The punk priestess who shredded expectations, oozed cool, and made rock ‘n’ roll dangerous again.
• The Russian Pinup Artist You Need to Know – The underground maestro who blended Cold War aesthetics with atomic-age allure. When propaganda and pulp collided, the results were pure fire.
• The Atomic Age: When Safety Meant a Mask and a Hope – Duck, cover, and pray. From lead-lined picnic blankets to fallout fashion, the golden age of nuclear survival was as bizarre as it was terrifying.
• Is Your Glass Half Full, or Do You Just Not Care? – A toast to the weirdest, bleakest, and most philosophical takes on life’s ultimate question. From atomic optimism to straight-up nihilism.
• Dawn Wells: America’s Sweetheart on a Deserted Island – More than Mary Ann and Gilligan’s Island, Dawn’s career that stretched from beauty pageants to pop culture immortality.
• Banned Commercial: Mary Ann vs. Ginger – The Ultimate Pie Fight – Scholars have debated for decades—Mary Ann or Ginger? The real answer? More pie fights.
• 10 Things You Never Knew About Gilligan’s Island – The Skipper’s real name, Gilligan’s first name, and the ridiculous letters the Coast Guard received.
• Cynthia the Celebrity Mannequin—The Star Who Never Spoke – Created by Lester Gaba in 1932, Cynthia became a bona fide high-society sensation. Cartier sent her jewels. Top designers dressed her in mink. She made the cover of Life in 1937, without ever saying a word.
• Invincible by Name, Invincible by Nature – 1982 – A Union Jack, a warship, and a message stitched right where it counts. Some homecomings demand a little extra flair.
• A Night in the Gorbals: The Real Spirit of 1968 – The grit, the booze, and the unmistakable energy of Glasgow’s working-class heart. This wasn’t just a pub night—it was a snapshot of an era.
• Any Time, Any Place – The Eggleston Lens on American Grit – William Eggleston captured everything. Neon-lit diners, back alley dives, and the stark, unscripted beauty of real life in all its strange, brutal glory.
• Ann Sheridan: The Oomph Girl Who Hated the Name – Hollywood labeled her with “oomph.” She called it nonsense. With roles in They Drive by Night (1940) and Nora Prentiss (1947), she proved talent mattered more than a nickname.

And That’s Just the Beginning. This Manifest Runs on Blood, Betrayal, and Burnt Rubber.

History remembers the ones who saw the knife coming and grabbed it midair. This Manifest doesn’t wait for the backstab. It swings first.

Read on. Obey. Ascend. The Great Ape commands it.

Manifesto Maravillado isn’t here to whisper sweet nothings in your ear. It’s a gut-punch from the past, a war cry from the future, and a thunderous middle finger to mediocrity. If you were looking for an easy ride, the exit’s behind you. If you came for fire, fury, and full-throttle lunacy—stay in your seat.

The countdown is dead. The brake pedal is hitting the floor. And, there is a bloody big hole in the sky! Just ask Ozzy.

Only one way out. Straight through – So let’s punch it!

June’s BigBoy Monthly Manifest is rolling in hot. No time to hesitate. No time to look back.

Get in. Hold tight. And whatever you do, don’t touch the damn brakes. The lines are cut!.

Razor-Wire Roads and White-Knuckle Rides

Only the Mad Survive the Madness

No brakes, no rearview, no mercy. This wasn’t about getting there—it was about making sure no one else did. Except you did!

Bat-Fuzz on the Range: The Rodeo Batmobile

The #2 Batmobile rolled into the rodeo and roared in style. By 1968, George Barris had already turned the Batmobile into an icon, but this version got an upgrade. Enter “Bat Fuzz,” a velvety, flocked finish designed to make its curves pop and keep it looking futuristic. The process? Epoxy, electrostatically applied nylon fibers, and a whole lot of flair. Durable, dirt-resistant, and impossible to ignore, this Batmobile made a statement.

Holy Horsepower, Batman! The Great Ape tips his cowl to this four-wheeled legend.

A Knockout Deal!

You get the George Foreman Grill for that lean, mean, fat-reducing machine action.
You get Muhammad Ali DVDs to witness the float like a butterfly, sting like a bee greatness.

And best of all? Both are boxed. A true Rumble in the Retail.

The Great Ape Approves
A sale with a sense of humor? Now that’s a heavyweight champion of a deal.

The Great Ape Salutes Barry Sheene – The King of Speed and Swagger

Barry Sheene ruled motorcycles with skill and nerve. A two-time 500cc World Champion, a man who shrugged off crashes that would’ve retired lesser riders, and a rockstar in leather racing gear.

Here he is with Stephanie McLean, her son Roman, and his mate Adam—looking every bit the legend he was. A racer, a family man, and a personality too big for the track to contain.

Sheene lived for speed and carried himself with style. He raced with a hand-rolled cigarette in his mouth, a cheeky grin, and an unshakable belief that life was meant to be lived at full throttle.

The Great Ape raises a wrench to Barry Sheene—the man, the machine, the attitude.

Ed Emshwiller Delivers Another Sci-Fi Gut Punch

The space helmet stays on, but the nightmares slip right through. These aliens operate on pure menace, their brains exposed and calculating. Veins pulse beneath those masks, cold intellect burning beneath the surface.

For our unlucky protagonist? First contact is looking like last contact. No translator, no diplomacy—just a whole lot of existential regret.

Classic pulp sci-fi at its finest—where the future isn’t sleek, it’s terrifying.

Frolic, Fellas—If You Can Handle It

This magazine does more than sit on a rack—it dares you to take a closer look. A double-color, double-dare straight from 1960, where anatomy awards are handed out like medals and the “man shortage” is the real crisis of the day.

She’s got the look—all confidence, curves, and a smirk that knows exactly what it’s doing. You can read the articles (sure), but let’s be honest—you’re here for the bonus.

The Great Ape salutes this technicolor temptation, because some magazines just exist… and some leave a mark.

PLANET OF THE APES? TRY SUBURBIA OF THE APES!

Doctor Kass had seen a lot in his day—mutant serums, rogue experiments, maybe even a particularly aggressive raccoon in the lab. But an ape demanding his daughter’s hand in marriage? That was a first.

Sure, most fathers dread the day their little girl brings home a questionable suitor, but nobody warns you about the six-foot, hairy, knuckle-dragging kind who considers a firm chest thump an engagement ring.

Doc tried to object, but Ape-Man was already planning the honeymoon. Science had officially failed.

Analog Devotion – A Mixtape Time Capsule

Every handwritten label screams passion. Every cassette carries a battle-scarred anthem. Someone both loved and lived these tapes. Punk, new wave, post-punk, goth… the soundtrack of rebellion, recorded in real time.

Joy Division. Bauhaus. The Cure. The Cramps. Bootleg radio broadcasts, live shows taped off the air, and personal compilations meant to outlast the plastic they were burned onto.

The Great Ape sees a collection built with care, played with devotion, and rewound a thousand times. A DIY museum of sound, when music had weight and mixtapes were currency of the soul. As a side note The Great Apes band in the 80’s supported Hunters and Collectors regular.

The Mullet Hall of Fame: Business Up Front, Party in the Back

Some haircuts are a choice. The mullet? That’s a lifestyle. From country legends to comedy kings, each of these icons wore the Kentucky waterfall with pride—but only one can reign supreme.

Billy Ray Cyrus brought Achy Breaky commitment. Theo Von keeps the flow alive for a new generation. Mel Gibson gave it cinematic grit. And Joe Dirt? Ain’t nobody got a mullet like that boy.

So who takes the crown? Your choice! The Great Ape knows this much: the mullet is all about the attitude.

THE FUTURE OF FASHION OR JUST DESPERATE TIMES?

She wanted independence. She got Doctor Octopus’s clumsy cousin.

Zipping up a dress? No problem. Peeling a grape? Smashing success. Applying mascara? Well, let’s just say the robot arms are still apologizing for that one.

Fashion-forward? Absolutely. Functional? Let’s just hope it doesn’t try to hug her.

Johnny Bruck Unleashed: Atlan 142 (1974) – Cosmic Horror at Its Finest

Johnny Bruck delivered more than illustrations—he threw pulp-fueled terror straight at your face. His 1974 cover for Atlan 142 isn’t just artwork—it’s a warning.

A lone astronaut, armed but already doomed, stares into the abyss—or what’s left of it. The skeleton in the command chair? A warning written in bone and blood-soaked rags. Whatever happened here, it wasn’t quick. And now, it’s the spaceman’s turn to find out why some distress signals should stay unanswered.

The Great Ape Approves. But only from a safe distance.

The Magnus Chord Organ presents Easy Funeral Hits!

Because nothing says “respectful send-off” like a one-finger grief chord chart and a room full of relatives singing off-key.

From the soul-stirring Did He Always Have That There? to the heartfelt ballad Shut Up and Mourn, this collection has everything you need to keep spirits high while you keep the casket low. And for those with a keen eye for detail, don’t miss the toe-tapping inquiry: You Call That a “Y” Incision?

Because mourning is hard—but playing along shouldn’t be.

Pure Fury in Motion

This tire is more than rubber—it’s a molten, tortured force barely gripping reality as 12,000 horsepower detonates off the line. That wrinkle? Physics surrendering on impact.

Speed demands respect. Weakness gets left behind.

Little Tommy Tucker has had a very busy day.

Building leaky nuclear power plants on fault lines, selling dope to third graders, and trading atomic secrets with shadowy cabals—all before recess. But the real crime? Cheating at Scrabble.

Luckily, the school guidance counselor from Hell has finally caught up with him for a long-overdue chat. Maybe an eternity of hellish torture will make him see the error of his ways. Or maybe he’ll just try to trade the devil for a better vowel set.

Holy Afterburners, Batman!

A cruise in the Batmobile means melting asphalt and scorching the timeline. A jet engine strapped to justice, leaving nothing but flames, smoke, and drop-jawed civilians in its wake. A four-wheeled declaration of high-octane vengeance.

When the Future Had Antennae

This TV beamed in from the cosmos. The Panasonic TR-005 Orbital looked less like something you’d set on a shelf and more like something that crash-landed in your living room. A black-and-white porthole to a world where screens swiveled, legs were made of chrome, and aliens probably watched us back.

Speed-Vision? Check. Electro-Tuner? Absolutely. Five inches of futuristic glory? More than enough for the Space Age.

TVs used to dream big. Some even dressed the part.

Country Wagon Nascar

One man. One harpoon. Two nightmares from the deep.

A battle so wild even Hemingway would spill his daiquiri.

Mort Künstler delivers another savage symphony of pulp action, where the only way out is through tentacles, teeth, and sheer, unhinged bravado.

The Great Ape approves—because sometimes, the sea fights back.

Water? Perspective? Philosophy?

Bah! A glass is a vessel for whatever gets the job done.

Fill it with chaos. Fill it with coffee. Smash it dramatically mid-monologue.
The real answer? All of the above.

Which one are you? Wrong question. Which one is brave enough to admit it?

Did You Know? The Great Ape Knows!

The Space Between Your Eyebrows Has a Name—And It’s Not “Thinking Crease.”

That little stretch of real estate between your eyebrows? It’s called a glabella. Sounds like a fancy Italian dessert, but nope—it’s just forehead turf.

Wrinkle it in confusion, furrow it in rage, or keep it smooth like a Zen master—the glabella always steals the show.

Now go forth and drop this knowledge bomb on some unsuspecting fink.

Sounds smarter. Confuses people. The Great Ape Knows & Approves.

The ’50s Had More Than Poodle Skirts—Some People Got Their Hands Dirty

Grease under the nails, a wrench in hand, and an attitude that said try me. This wasn’t a pin-up posing—it was a Rocker rolling up her sleeves and getting to work. The garage wasn’t just for the boys, and neither was the grease-stained rebellion.

The Great Ape Nods in Approval
A perfect mix of muscle, machine, and menace. She isn’t waiting for help—she is the help. De-evolution denied.

Love hits hard, even in a junkyard.

She throws a punch, he steals a kiss, and the wreckage piles up behind them. Torn silk, rough hands, and a passion that refuses to stay clean.

Bob Abbot paints desire like a car crash—raw, reckless, and impossible to walk away from.

Mooneyes and Mean Machines!

Chrome pipes, a blown Hemi, and the unmistakable Mooneyes logo—this is drag racing with style. When speed meets attitude, the only thing faster than this rail job is the heartbeat of anyone lucky enough to hear it roar.

The Great Ape sees the real deal—hot rods, horsepower, and a woman who knows a thing or two about fast machines.

The Atomic Age: When Safety Meant a Mask and a Hope

Radiation? Just a minor inconvenience. The 1952 playbook for atomic safety boiled down to one brave soul, a gas mask, and a Geiger counter. Suit up, wave the magic wand, and pray those isotopes behave.

Scientists at Argonne National Laboratory learned firsthand that unstable isotopes and unstable men have a lot in common—both have a habit of blowing their tops. But hey, no big deal! A few days of “observation,” a firm handshake from Dr. Robert Hasterlik, and it’s back to business.

The Atomic Age: When men were steel, isotopes were unstable, and safety regulations were a little… flexible.

Lois & Lana—Up to No Good?

When these two team up, Superman better start sweating.

Lana’s got a plan. Lois is all in. The question isn’t what they’re about to pull—it’s how much chaos they’ll leave behind.

A rivalry? Sometimes. A partnership? Only when it leads to trouble.

Whatever’s about to happen, Metropolis isn’t ready.

“Bloody Large Glasses” by Michael Caine

Because sometimes, size matters. A masterclass in marketing, blending dry wit, British charm, and a heavy dose of 1970s eyewear excess.

Caine lays it out: power, exclusivity, and a touch of arrogance—all wrapped up in oversized frames big enough to spot a getaway route from across London. The Alfie? $250. The Italian Job? $225. The confidence to tell doubters they’re “bloody thick pillocks”? Priceless.

Available at Fuxall Drive-Thru Eye Care Centers, because nothing screams class like buying your giant specs from the people behind the Wham-O Frisbee.

The Great Ape salutes this absolute masterpiece of self-aware advertising.

“Beside the Golden Door”—Schomburg Saw It Coming

Four years before Planet of the Apes hit the big screen, Alex Schomburg painted this post-apocalyptic vision for Amazing Stories (February 1964). A shattered Statue of Liberty, UFOs slicing through a Martian-orange sky, and space explorers surveying the ruins—this was pulp sci-fi at its boldest.

The Golden Door wasn’t just broken—it was wide open for invaders, intergalactic or otherwise.

The Great Ape strokes his chin and wonders—did they really blow it up, or was it just another Tuesday in the Atomic Age?

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Starships, Sabotage, and Stolen Time

Some Rides End in Glory, Others End in Fire

The jump drive misfires, the ship is leaking oxygen, and the only way out is through a fleet that wants you dead. Hope you brought a gun.

Bill “Grumpy” Jenkins—More Levers Than Apollo 11!

This is no ordinary race car—this is a launchpad. A Hurst 4-speed shifter, and a dashboard packed with enough switches to send it straight to the moon. Grumpy was more than a driver—he was a mechanical mastermind, tuning horsepower into history.

The Great Ape salutes a legend—because when Grumpy shifted, the competition got left in the dust.

Now that’s a Hollywood legacy with layers

Cross-dressing, crime, and comedy wrapped in a film that never needed a remake.

Some Like It Hot delivered more than laughs. It was a masterclass in timing, charisma, and bending the rules. Monroe radiated. Lemmon stole scenes. Curtis? Smooth as silk in heels.

And there, on set, a young Jamie Lee Curtis took it all in. The daughter of Hollywood royalty, unknowingly preparing to carve her own path—screams instead of slapstick, horror instead of hijinks.

Hollywood runs on more than stars. It’s about who lasts.

The Great Ape has been in this situation before…

Doors too small. Women too startled. The eternal struggle of the cult cinema primate.

The Great Ape understands—Sometimes beauty is in the paws of the Be-Holder!

Where determination, Houdini, and questionable methods collide.

Stockings? Chalk? Toe-writing mastery? This is the kind of single-panel madness that keeps us coming back to the classics. Houdini might have escaped chains, but this gal is out to break the laws of handwriting.

The Great Ape salutes this dedication—because sometimes, commitment is more important than common sense.

Albert Fisher – 1940s Beer Advertising Calendar Illustration

Golden age charm meets liquid gold. Albert Fisher’s 1940s beer ad girl is the perfect blend of pin-up glamour and classic Americana—all smiles, soft curls, and a tall, frosty glass that practically demands a toast.

The Great Ape likes beer and the lady who is offering him that Pilsner!

Dodge This!

Did You Know? The Great Ape Knows!

That Tiny Bit of Plastic on Your Shoelaces? It Has a Name.

Ever had a shoelace unravel and fray into a useless mess? That little plastic or metal tip that stops the chaos is called an aglet.

Not a weapon, not a secret society—just a tiny hero keeping your sneakers in line. Without aglets, the world would be a tangled disaster, and nobody needs that kind of anarchy.

Sounds smarter. Confuses people. The Great Ape Knows & Approves.

“Get in on the monkey business!”

Mattel wasn’t messing around—Planet of the Apes guns and masks? This is the kind of 1970s marketing madness that makes you wonder how we survived childhood. Clever kids could go full guerrilla (literally) in the backyard, patrolling the shrubbery like a lost sequel.

The Great Ape sees this and nods approvingly—because if you’re gonna start a revolution, you might as well dress the part.

Not Miss Magic Marker 1954—Miss Manifesto Maravillado!

A sash? A tiara? Too tame. This queen of ink wields her marker like a scepter, stamping her reign one bold stroke at a time.

The Great Ape wonders… will anyone catch his sneaky edit? Probably!

Al Williamson’s Cosmic Masterpiece—The Future Was Always Pulp

Blazing across an alien world of mushroom jungles, golden castles, and impossible horizons, this is Al Williamson at his finest. A master of retro-futurism, Williamson’s work fused high-adventure, intricate detail, and a sense of wonder that only golden-age sci-fi could deliver.

The hero stands firm, sword in hand, while his allies watch the shadows. Something lurks just beyond the frame. Maybe it’s a lost civilization. Maybe it’s a horde of cosmic marauders. Maybe it’s just another Tuesday in the pulp sci-fi multiverse.

The Great Ape knows this much—give him a ray gun, a jetpack, and a reason, and he’s off to the stars.

The Orion—When TVs Looked Like Spacecraft

Beyond being a TV, this was a monument to mid-century design, where sleek curves met atomic-age ambition. The angled screen, woodgrain panels, and grillwork base gave it the presence of a retro-futuristic control panel, ready to beam in the evening news with all the authority of a Cold War broadcast.

The Great Ape approves. Tuning in should always feel like launching into the unknown.

Intergalactic Dating Rules

“When in Rome… or when being yanked through the air by an alien suitor.” She’s not resisting. She’s considering the possibilities. Maybe this is how they flirt where he’s from. Maybe this is normal. Or maybe she’s into it.

Scream Queen Legacy

Jamie Lee Curtis channels horror history in the most iconic way possible—recreating her mother’s legendary Psycho moment. The bloodline of terror runs deep, and Marion Crane’s scream lives on.

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Cosmic Smugglers and Galactic Bounty Hunters

The Law Ends at the Atmosphere

If you’ve got a ship and a death wish, the universe is yours. But watch your back—someone else wants it too.

Valeriy Barykin: Soviet Nostalgia with a Pin-Up Twist

Valeriy Barykin’s work blends Soviet-era propaganda aesthetics with the bold, cheeky energy of classic mid-century pin-ups. His art takes the rigid, idealized imagery of socialist realism and flips it into a playful, satirical universe where glamour and authority collide in unexpected ways.

These aren’t your standard propaganda posters. Barykin injects them with humor, irony, and a heavy dose of vintage allure. Soldiers, workers, and medics stand shoulder to shoulder with curvaceous, pin-up-inspired figures, creating a world that feels both familiar and surreal. It’s an alternate timeline where wartime posters and recruitment drives come with a knowing wink.

Every piece is a collision of history and fantasy—a nod to both the power of mass messaging and the irresistible charm of pulp-era beauty. Whether it’s a nurse with a sly smile or a uniformed official distracted by more than duty, Barykin’s art turns Soviet nostalgia into a Technicolor fever dream.

The Great Ape loves a pinup and salutes the genius within Comrade Barykin—sometimes we need to warm to the Cold War.

Click on the images for the translation!

Ah, the legendary Gestetner—Australia’s very own purple-inked time machine.

Before laser printers and photocopiers, teachers wielded this crank-powered beast like a relic of office supply sorcery. Handwritten or typewritten stencils, smeared with ink, were sacrificed to the duplication gods—and in return, classrooms were blessed with damp, smelly, slightly smudged worksheets.

But the true magic? That first hit of fresh Gestetner ink. One deep inhale and suddenly, you were floating through a haze of education and mild solvent fumes.

Was it safe? Questionable. Did we care? Absolutely not. Would we do it again? Without hesitation.

The Purple Light—Where Science, Sweat, and Sheer Madness Collide!

1941 Astounding Science Fiction drops a tale where crawling headfirst into chaos isn’t a mistake—it’s the mission. Clad in a suit that screams “space welder chic,” our hero grips his tools, ready to tinker, tamper, or straight-up tear through whatever cosmic catastrophe stands in his way.

The Great Ape respects the hustle—sometimes, you don’t tiptoe around trouble. You dive in with a wrench and a wild grin.

Big Feet Hemi

Love in the Time of Transistors

“He’s kind, he’s dependable, and he never forgets an anniversary. Sure, his hands are a little cold, but at least he doesn’t leave socks on the floor.”

The 1950s vision of romance got a serious upgrade—programmable loyalty, built-in conversation, and a heart of pure vacuum tubes. Move over, fellas, the perfect gentleman runs on logic circuits and elbow grease.

The future of dating? Less heartbreak, more horsepower.

Alex Schomburg’s Trouble on Titan—The Future Had Treads and Trouble

Sci-fi in the 1950s didn’t do subtle. Atomic rockets, glass-domed rovers, and planetary peril—this was the era of adventure, and Alex Schomburg painted it like no one else.

This tank-treaded beast rips across Titan’s craggy cliffs, built for survival, not comfort. Above, the sky erupts—laser fire, exploding ships, and interplanetary sabotage. No brakes. No backup. Just pure sci-fi chaos. The air is thin, the stakes are high, and the only way is forward.

The Great Ape sees this and knows one thing: You’re not stuck in traffic on Titan. You ARE the traffic.

“No ape freak should be long without these exciting ape movies!”

Super 8. Black & white. Twelve full minutes of cinematic monkey mayhem. This was how you brought the rise, fall, and rebellion of simian society into your living room—one reel at a time.

You want Heston yelling at the sky? You got it.
You want Caesar leading the charge? It’s here.
You want benevolent leadership crushed by paranoia and power? Of course you do.

For just $7.99 a pop, you could own the best of the ape revolution before VHS was even a glimmer in a human’s eye.

The Great Ape approves—because real primates collect the whole set.

Did You Know? The Great Ape Knows!

The Day After Tomorrow Has a Name—And It’s Not “That Other Day.”

Forget awkwardly saying “Not tomorrow, but the next day.” There’s a word for that—it’s “overmorrow.”

Sounds like something out of a medieval prophecy, but no—it’s real English and deserves a comeback. So next time someone asks when the chaos kicks off, tell them “overmorrow” and watch their glabella wrinkle in confusion.

Sounds smarter. Confuses people. The Great Ape Knows & Approves.

Toyota 2000GT

Produced from 1967 to 1970. Powered by a 2.0L straight-six producing 150bhp. Rear-wheel drive with a five-speed manual gearbox. Featured a lightweight aluminum body, four-wheel independent suspension, and disc brakes. Japan’s first true high-performance sports car.

Lost: One Ham on Rye—Dignity Optional!

When your lunch makes a great escape, only Scotch Cellulose Tape could have saved the day. This 1940s ad delivers wartime practicality with a side of slapstick—because even on the home front, sandwich security is a serious matter.

Invest in Victory, Buy War Bonds, and for heaven’s sake, seal that sandwich.

The Great Ape approves—because losing a sandwich is a crime against lunch.

L.B. Cole’s Cosmic Chaos!

A raygun-wielding hero, a green-skinned space siren, and a fire-breathing, intergalactic bird-beast—all set against a kaleidoscopic void of deep-space delirium. Cole never painted subtlety; he drenched pulp in neon spectacle and let it burn.

A Sci Fi Feast for the eyes, this is space opera on acid.

The Great Ape approves. Flash Gordon wishes.

March 28, 1943—A Wild Ride on the Wildcat

Hanging by a wing and a prayer, this F4F Wildcat pilot just redefined “sticking the landing.”

The USS Charger was no luxury cruise, and this unlucky aviator found himself parked at the worst valet service in the Pacific. One gust of wind, one wrong step, and it’s an express ticket to Davy Jones’ locker.

But fortune favors the bold—or at least the lucky. With nerves of steel and a firm grip, he climbs to fight another day.

The Great Ape Salutes: Gravity lost this round.

Fore in the Kitchen!

Golf widow? Not quite. When the clubs invade the kitchen and the greens get traded for linoleum, it’s a battle of priorities.

The Great Ape approves—because sometimes, dinner can wait, but putting practice never does.

Laura’s Priorities Are Clear

“Dick will get sore!”

Laura doesn’t care. She’s going after him.

No matter what. No matter where.

Even if it means… sore consequences.

Wedding Day Blues – Siberian Style

Bratsk, 1967. The dress is white, the suit is sharp, but the mood? Somewhere between cold feet and existential dread. Soviet weddings didn’t come with fairy-tale endings—just state paperwork, social realism, and a lifetime supply of melancholy.

Maxell Cassette Tape Evolution—A Mixtape for the Ages

Before streaming, before CDs, before digital playlists—there was Maxell. These cassettes held love letters in sound, bootlegged concerts, late-night radio rips, and the ultimate road trip anthems. From C60 to XLII-S, these tapes were time machines, confessionals, and artifacts of a lost analog world.

Rewind. Play. Repeat. The Great Ape approves.

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Moonshine, Machine Guns, and Muscle Cars

The Outlaws Who Outran Death and the Cops Who Couldn’t Keep Up

Gasoline and gunpowder—two things that never mix well unless you knew what you were doing. These maniacs did.

Chaos in the Kitchen – 1969 in Full Swing

A woman mid-hysterics, a cigarette held like a trophy, and a kitchen table that’s seen one drink too many. The holiday ham sits pretty, the drinks are flowing, and someone in the doorway—half in, half out—witnesses the madness unfold. The wood paneling, the floral dress, the slightly blurred grin—this is the essence of 1969 domestic mayhem. Whatever was said just before this photo was taken, it was either hilarious, scandalous, or both.

1979—When Rock Ruled the Night

Beverly Hills, a party at Fiorucci, and three icons in one frame. Bebe Buell, Joan Jett, and Debbie Harry—each redefining cool on their own terms.

Blondie just dropped Eat to the Beat, and the scene was electric. Glam met grit, rebellion met rhythm, and the night belonged to rock royalty.

Some posed, some played, some partied. Legends did all three.

The Great Ape Approves: Turn it up!

Keep It Shiny, Keep It Fast!

A front-engine digger, a wrench in hand, and a pit crew making sure everything gleams before the next pass. This is more than looks—chrome doesn’t win races, but attention to detail does.

The Great Ape loves the shine and respects the speed!

Did You Know? The Great Ape Knows!

Those “Stabby Bits” on Your Fork has a name! And they are not called Stabby Bits!

That trusty tool you use to shovel food into your face? Those prongs have a name. They’re called tines.

So next time someone drops a fork, don’t say “You dropped your fork.” Say, “You dropped your precision-engineered food-stabbing device with expertly crafted tines.”

Sounds smarter. Confuses people. The Great Ape Knows & Approves.

Return to Peyton Place – May 1961

Ray Rikir paints a world where scandal drifts like smoke.

She exhales, unimpressed. Secrets fester. Small-town whispers cut deeper than knives. The past lingers, the present burns, and the night is long.

International Rescue Takes Five!

Even a heroic marionette needs a break. Feet up, comic in hand, and ready to spring into action—or at least dramatically flip a switch.

The Great Ape salutes this level of cool under pressure!

Cadillac Cyclone XP-74 – The Road Rocket That Never Launched

America reached for the stars and styled its cars like rockets. The Cadillac Cyclone XP-74 was more than a concept—it was a declaration of the jet age, a testbed for the future, and one of the last automotive dreams designed by Harley Earl.

Built on a 104-inch wheelbase chassis, the Cyclone wasn’t just about looks—it packed serious engineering. A front-mounted 390 cubic-inch V8 engine, a rear-mounted automatic transaxle, and independent suspension on all four wheels made it a radical departure from anything else on the road. Even its engine exhaust exited ahead of the front wheels, giving it an unmistakable, space-age profile.

But the true sci-fi touch? A radar-operated collision avoidance system, embedded in twin “nose-cone” sensors, hinting at a world where technology would guide drivers safely.

Then, there was the bubble canopy—the car’s defining feature. Silver-coated for UV protection, it opened automatically when the electrically operated sliding doors engaged, and when not in use, it stowed neatly in the rear on a special air-bag base.

The Cyclone’s DNA was pure aviation and rocket science. The original design carried larger tailfins, stamped with the General Motors Air Transport Section (GMATS) logo, reinforcing its connection to high-speed flight. By 1964, the fins were reduced, aligning with Cadillac’s evolving aesthetic, but the Cyclone’s legend was already cemented.

This machine was built more for the stratosphere than it was to travel down a road. The Great Ape tips his banana to Cadillac for aiming higher than Detroit ever dared.

The Space Age Swing Set of Television

More than a TV, this was a command module for the living room, engineered with side dials that made you feel like you were tuning in from Mission Control. The sleek navy-and-white contrast gave it a futuristic edge, while the swivel stand meant the action always faced you, no matter where you lounged.

The Great Ape approves. TVs should never sit still. They should orbit.

Breathe Deep, Fly High

When your battlefield is the stratosphere, you don’t just need oxygen—you need liquid fury piped straight to your lungs.

Bendix wasn’t selling comfort. They were keeping pilots conscious while punching through the sky at 70,000 feet. No air, no pressure, no problem—just pure engineering defiance against the vacuum of space.

Flight? That’s cute. This was survival.

The Great Ape’s Ode to Elvis – The King, The Tragedy, The Legend

Elvis Presley shook the very foundations of music. A Mississippi boy with a voice like thunder, hips that defied moral decency, and a presence so electric it rewired culture itself. The man wasn’t born—he erupted into history.

He took gospel, blues, and country, set them on fire, and turned rock ‘n’ roll into an unstoppable force. From the sweat-drenched dives of Beale Street to the blinding lights of Vegas, Elvis was gravity in a jumpsuit—pulling in audiences, controversy, and a level of superstardom the world had never seen before.

But even Kings aren’t invincible.

By the time the ‘70s rolled in, the colonel, the pills, and the parasites had latched on. The fire in his voice still burned, but the weight of the world—and a pharmacy’s worth of prescriptions—pressed down harder. In the last four years of his life, Elvis was handed 19,000 doses of pharmaceuticals. In 1977 alone, his doctor, Dr. Nicholpoulous wrote 199 prescriptions—enough to fuel an army, let alone one man trying to stay afloat in a sea of sycophants.

A different manager. A different circle. Maybe he’d still be here.

And yet, the tragedy isn’t the point—the greatness is.

“Caught in a Trap and Cant Get out!” Elvis was lightning trapped in flesh. The smirk, the snarl, the sweat-soaked revolution that left the world forever changed. Even now, decades later, the first note of “Suspicious Minds” or “Jailhouse Rock” still kicks like a V8 engine, still demands to be played loud.

Elvis. Evils. Levis. The same letters shuffled different ways. Maybe that’s the real story. A man caught between good intentions, bad influences, and the relentless grind of an industry that eats its own.

But legends don’t die. They echo.

The Great Ape salutes The King. A life too short, a fire too bright. And if you don’t feel something when those first chords hit? Check your pulse, my fine furry fink—you might already be gone.

“No messy glue—just snap and assemble!”

Step aside, puny humans, because this is the ape uprising in puzzle, plastic, and paperback form. Terrific vinyl masks let you walk among humans undetected—slip on a Cousin Cornelius, Dr. Zaius, or Warrior Ape mask and let the illusion begin. Paperback power fuels the mind with tales of how apes rose, humans fell, and chaos reigned. Pierre Boulle’s Planet of the Apes novel and its sequels are yours to devour.

Jigsaw puzzles and poster puzzles put the rebellion together piece by piece, whether it’s Galen, Dr. Zaius, or the downfall of mankind. Model kits bring the uprising to your shelf—Caesar, Ursus, and General Aldo are waiting to be assembled into warriors of the future. Meanwhile, 8″ action dolls mean no stuffing, no nonsense—just fully poseable primates, armed and ready.

The Great Ape sees one inevitable future—and it’s sitting in your collection.

Frank Frazetta—the man, the myth, the brush-wielding beast.

When most think of Frazetta, they picture barbarian warlords, space-faring vixens, and muscle-clad titans carved straight from a fever dream. But before the oil paintings, before Death Dealer loomed over the fantasy genre, Frazetta was knee-deep in pulpy crime, noir grit, and twisted morality tales.

The left side of the image? *“Squeeze Play” from Shock SuspenStories #13.” Frazetta’s signature cinematic tension, heavy inks, and high-drama anatomy on full display. The right side? The man himself. You can see how his art mirrored his own physical presence—sharp, lean, and built like the kind of guy who didn’t just draw adventure, but lived it.

Playing the bad guy in his own work? That’s the Frazetta way. His figures weren’t just drawn—they were embodied. His heroes, villains, and doomed lovers carried the weight of his brushstrokes, infused with the power, energy, and sheer cool of their creator.

The Great Ape salutes Frank Frazetta—the brush that roared, the legend that never faded.

The Forbidden Thought Spiral

“I won’t think about it! I won’t… I won’t think…”

Sweating. Nervous grins. Eye contact.

Whatever it is, they’re both thinking about it.

And judging by those faces? They really shouldn’t be.

Flash – AAAAAAH!

The most gloriously over-the-top space opera ever blasted onto the big screen. Hawk-men, laser battles, and Brian Blessed shouting at the speed of sound. The 1980 Flash Gordon blasted past cinema and straight into legend. Neon-drenched, Queen-powered, and overflowing with intergalactic madness, it didn’t just tell a story—it became a cult phenomenon. Ming the Merciless? Evil. The costumes? Insane. The dialogue? Pure gold.

Earth never stood a chance—but Flash did.

Flash! A-ah! Savior of the Universe!

Queen wrote more than a theme song. They unleashed a sonic explosion that supercharged Flash Gordon into cult legend. From the thunderous opening to Brian May’s laser-blasting guitar licks, it’s pure pulp sci-fi in sound.

Freddie Mercury’s operatic battle cry turns Flash! into pure adrenaline, while the driving beat propels you straight into hyperspace. This wasn’t background music—it was the film’s pulse, a galactic call to arms.

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Dames, Danger, and a Fistful of Fate

One Good Line, One Bad Bet, and the Last Thing You’ll Ever See

The bottle was empty, the gun was loaded, and the city was fresh out of second chances.

Margaret Groening: The Matriarch of Springfield (Sort Of)

Before there was Marge Simpson, there was Margaret Ruth Groening—a woman whose name, humor, and influence quietly shaped one of television’s most iconic families. Born March 23, 1919, she lived a life rich in education, family, and an appreciation for the arts. She married Homer Groening (yes, that Homer), and together, they built a legacy that would, unknowingly, become animated history.

A valedictorian, a May Queen, and a high school English teacher, Margaret had a deep love of language—something her son, Matt Groening, channeled into a little show called The Simpsons. If you ever wondered where Marge’s calm patience (or that signature name) came from, look no further.

Margaret Groening was the blueprint for TV’s most famous mom. Without her, The Simpsons wouldn’t have its heart, its patience, or its signature sigh. And though she passed in 2013 at age 94, her legacy lives on every time Marge sighs, raises an eyebrow, or deals with another one of Homer’s hair-brained schemes.

Some families are legendary. Some become cartoons. Margaret Groening’s did both.

The Great Ape tips his hat, shakes his blue beehive wig, and mutters… Ay caramba!

SECRET WEAPON!

Double-crossing an old prospector in the Amazon? Bad idea. He lost the diamonds, the gun, and the boat—but his secret weapon wasn’t up his sleeve. It was in the water.

Piranhas don’t negotiate. They just strip the bones clean.

The Great Ape approves—because some fortunes cost more than they’re worth.

Abe’s Strat!

Obviously this is a fake pic. An 1862 Strat would have a maple fretboard and single ply pick guard. Duh!

Sophia Loren, Pool Hall Queen

She conquered the silver screen—then took her talents to the felt.

Sophia Loren lines up the shot while a room full of men watches, pretending it’s just another game. They know better. The stakes? Their pride.

Sharp eyes, steady hands, and the kind of presence that turns a pool hall into a stage. Loren not only broke hearts—she called her shots and sank them.

The Great Ape Approves: Style is one thing. Skill is another. Loren had both.

Sherwood Forest never looked better!

Our outlaw hero has seen plenty in his time, but this? A scene worthy of legend. Sun-drenched mischief, forbidden encounters, and a twist on the old tale—Robin Hood’s greatest heist might be stealing a glance.

Stealth, archery, and woodland escapades… but suddenly, priorities have shifted.

The Great Ape approves of men in tights, although Robin might have to stand cross legged!

Serious Men, Serious Machine

One man sees a polished metal orb. The other? A transmission from the future.

This machine belongs beyond the lab—designed to leave Earth behind and whisper secrets back home. Every panel, every wire, every bolt was a handshake with the unknown.

When humanity looks up, machines like this answer back.

Did You Know? The Great Ape Knows!

The Tiny Table in Your Pizza Box Has a Name—And It’s Not “Mini UFO.”

That little plastic thing sitting in the middle of your pizza? It’s called a box tent. Not a toy, not a useless decoration—a frontline warrior protecting your cheese from getting smushed by the lid.

Next time someone asks why it’s there, hit them with the truth. It’s not pizza, it’s science.

Sounds smarter. Confuses people. The Great Ape Knows & Approves.

Time and Again, and Overtime – Bill Elder’s Cosmic Chaos!

Sci-fi gets the Mad Magazine treatment as Bill Elder warps space, time, and decency in this 1957 Trump Magazine illustration. A buxom space adventurer tangles with an intergalactic insectoid, complete with Elder’s signature detail-packed absurdity.

Rayguns, high heels, and uncomfortably enthusiastic aliens—just another day in the galaxy.

The Great Ape approves—though even he thinks Rork Glanf needs to buy him a drink!

Cherry 32

The Great Ape’s Salute to Sidecar Madness – Dual Steering, Double the Mayhem

Racing? This is war on wheels.

Sidecar racing throws safety, sense, and self-preservation out the window. It’s a trust exercise at 100 km/h, where one rider holds the throttle, the other defies gravity, and both decide that physics is merely a suggestion.

What you’re looking at? The original two-man wrecking crew. One poor soul in the cockpit, the other dangling off the edge like a lunatic, shifting weight to keep the rig from flipping into oblivion. No roll cages, no safety nets—just steel, guts, and an unspoken agreement that nobody blames anyone if this goes south.

And then there’s dual steering. Because apparently, one set of handlebars wasn’t terrifying enough. The monkey in the sidecar gets a say too—adjusting, counterbalancing, and throwing their own chaotic input into the mix. Think of it as a high-speed three-legged race where failure means getting scraped off the track with a shovel.

The Great Ape salutes these maniacs of the dirt. They weren’t chasing podiums. They were chasing the ride itself.

She smiles, he bleeds, and the law holds him up just long enough to see it.

Silk whispers shut, knuckles tighten, and the last thing he hears is the snap of a badge and the low chuckle of a woman who plays for keeps.

Chet Collom paints trouble in black and white—no good guys, no way out, just the price of a bad idea paid in full.

“You can be whatever you want to be… as long as it’s an ape.”

Step into the future—or is it the past?—with these official Planet of the Apes costumes, bringing instant simian status to any young revolutionary. Whether you’re plotting the fall of mankind or just looking for a strong Halloween statement, these vinyl masterpieces will transform you into a proper primate overlord.

With bold orange robes straight from the sacred scrolls, these costumes channel the wisdom of the Lawgiver and the authority of the ape elite. The masks? Terrifying. The bare feet? A choice.

The Great Ape approves—because some costumes are more evolved than others.

Goon Juice Strikes Again!

Even the Dark Knight has his off days. One minute, he’s brooding over Gotham, the next—he’s knee-deep in Joker’s finest batch of “Goon Juice.”

What is Goon Juice? A toxic sludge? A glue-based nightmare? Something whipped up in a clown-themed basement lab? Whatever it is, it’s not FDA-approved.

Batman’s seen it all—mind control gas, giant playing cards, exploding rubber chickens—but even he wasn’t ready for Joker’s premium-grade villain goop.

Will he escape? Will he spend the next hour peeling this stuff off his cape? Will I ever stop asking these inane questions? Tune in next time—same Bat-time, same Bat-channel.

SEA DEVILS vs. The Magnetic Menace!

When your enemy is a giant, magnetic, rust-covered colossus that eats ships for breakfast and spits out spare parts, you bring more than just a harpoon gun. The Sea Devils dive deep into a mechanical nightmare where science and sorcery collide.

Magnetism, mayhem, and underwater madness—this is deep-sea doom.

The Great Ape reckons when the ocean fights back, you better have a wetsuit and a plan.

Archie’s Sprint to Destiny

Veronica doesn’t ask questions. She issues challenges. And Archie answers like a man on a mission.

Will he ring her chimes? No hesitation. No second thoughts. Just pure, unfiltered YES.

The Great Ape sees a man running toward glory—or straight into catastrophe. Either way, the bells are about to toll.

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Invincible by Name, Invincible by Nature – 1982

The HMS Invincible had just returned from the Falklands War, but the real homecoming parade was happening dockside. Among the crowds, this woman delivered the most unforgettable welcome of them all. With a grin, a flash, and the word Invincible embroidered on her underwear, she turned patriotism into performance art.

The energy is pure, the confidence is untouchable. To her left, her friend is doubled over with laughter. Behind her, a woman watches in bemusement, while a cameraman captures the spectacle for posterity. Meanwhile, a young boy in the background stares in stunned silence—probably realizing this is a moment he’ll never quite be able to explain at school.

This was a victory lap of British eccentricity. A warship returned in glory, and one woman ensured it was greeted in a way that no sailor would ever forget.

The Great Ape salutes this fearless display of enthusiasm, cheek, and a very literal sense of national pride.

Eat Lead!

She ain’t no damsel in distress! This is a dame with a drum magazine and a vendetta. Blonde fury, a burning cigar, and a tommy gun that spits fire through the glass. The only exit is through a hail of bullets, and she’s taking the scenic route.

The Great Ape approves—because some femmes fatales don’t run, they reload.

Management Style: Hands-On

“Don’t sweat it! Sometimes I need somebody to sit on me to get things done“

Some bosses push for deadlines. Others encourage teamwork. This guy? Full commitment to alternative motivation techniques.

Whatever the task is, he’s got very specific requirements.

And judging by that smirk, he’s taking applications.

Red Lips, Black Veils, and a Smoking Gun

Love Was Just Another Con—And You Fell for It

She walked in like she owned the joint. She walked out, and so did your wallet, your gun, and your last chance at survival.

Getaway – Chester S. Geier’s High-Speed, High-Stakes Sci-Fi Escape!

Outrunning the cops is one thing—blasting off in a stolen spaceship is another. Rain-soaked noir meets pulp-fueled rocket fire in Chester S. Geier’s tale of desperation, crime, and an interstellar last resort in Amazing Stories, October, 1946

The heat’s on, the engines are primed, and Simmons is about to take a one-way trip to anywhere but here.

The Great Ape approves—because sometimes the best getaway car isn’t a car at all.

The Godwin Guitar Organ Deluxe – The Six-String Frankenstein of Sound

Somewhere in a smokey 1970s Italian workshop, someone looked at a Hammond organ and a jazz guitar and thought, why not both? The result? The Godwin Guitar Organ Deluxe—a rare, beautiful, and completely unhinged instrument that refuses to pick a lane.

This isn’t just a guitar. It’s a mutation, a six-stringed synth beast with 13 knobs, 19 switches, and enough tonal manipulation to make even the weirdest pedalboard cry for mercy. Plug it in, and you’re not just strumming—you’re commanding an entire electric cathedral of sound. The Godwin doesn’t fake it either—its organ tones land squarely in Hammond B3 territory, making it one of the most convincing guitorgan hybrids ever built.

Forget the Univox. Forget the Vox. This is the premier guitorgan, the Italian stallion of string-synth fusion, and a holy grail for collectors who know their way around strange and spectacular machines.

The Great Ape salutes this Frankenstein’s monster of an axe—an instrument that dares to be both and pulls it off with style. If you ever see one in the wild? Plug it in, flip every switch, and let it howl.

The Son of Frankenstein returns, and he’s got unfinished business.

Towering, relentless, stitched together with malice and menace—he reaches, she runs. The castle looms, the ropes tighten, and the night fills with screams. Science played God. The monster remembers.

Did You Know? The Great Ape Knows!

That “Na Na Na” in Songs? It Has a Name—And It’s Not Just Filler.

Ever sung along to a song that goes “Na na na” or “La la la” and thought, this means nothing? Wrong. Those nonsense lyrics have a name—vocables.

Musicians throw them in when words fail, when emotions take over, or when they need a chorus but ran out of ideas. Either way, they get stuck in your head forever.

Next time you belt out a “na na na,” know that you’re using real musical terminology.

Sounds smarter. Confuses people. The Great Ape Knows & Approves.

Rocket-Powered Scooters: Because Brakes Are for Cowards

Some kids get a push from their parents. Others strap a jet engine to a scooter and let Newton’s Third Law handle the rest.

The Great Ape admires the ingenuity—because sometimes, going fast is the only thing that matters!

That’s a Gass-er

Saturn V: When Gravity Had No Say

Stacked 363 feet tall and packing 7.6 million pounds of thrust, this rocket didn’t launch—it escaped.

Three stages, each one a monument to raw power and precision, built to break Earth’s grip. First, brute force. Then, calculated speed. Finally, a push into the void.

They strapped in for more than a ride. They strapped in for history.

“There are two kinds of people in this world, my friend…”

The legendary Sad Hill Cemetery, final resting place of gunfighters, scoundrels, and cinematic immortality. This is the spot where Blondie, Tuco, and Angel Eyes faced off in one of the greatest climaxes in film history—Sergio Leone’s masterpiece, The Good, The Bad and The Ugly (1966).

Buried under layers of time and rediscovery, the graveyard was restored by fans in 2015, proving that legends never truly die. The rings of graves still spread outward, forever waiting for another showdown.

The Great Ape salutes this sacred ground—because some legends are best settled at high noon, with Morricone’s trumpets wailing in the wind.

The 1916 Packard Twin Six Experimental Racer

A V12 powerhouse that set the stage for American automotive excellence.

With a 424.1 cu. in. (7.0L) L-head V-12, churning out 88 horsepower at 2600 RPM, this beast was a statement of prestige and power in the early days of high-performance motoring. The engine, cast in two blocks of six with removable cylinder heads, was a marvel of engineering, proving that Packard was not just another luxury marque—it was leading the charge in innovation.

Sitting on a 112-inch wheelbase, this racer featured a three-speed manual transmission, semi-elliptic leaf springs, and two-wheel mechanical brakes—a mechanical symphony built for endurance rather than outright speed. But make no mistake, this was a machine built to dominate the open roads in an era when performance was measured not just in speed but in reliability and sheer road presence.

Packard’s ‘Twin Six’ legacy (1915-1923) would later evolve into the legendary Packard Twelve, solidifying its reputation as the go-to choice for those who demanded nothing but the best. 7,746 units sold in 1916, growing to 8,899 in 1917, proved that despite its steep $2,600 price tag, the Twin Six was a success—an engineering marvel that defined the gold standard for American luxury performance.

The Great Ape approves—because nothing says class like a V12 roaring through history.

Archie’s Focus Is… Elsewhere

“Just dump it in!” “Right!”

Archie heard the words. Archie agreed. But Archie is absolutely not paying attention to the cooking. Betty’s giving directions. Archie’s locked in on something else entirely. That board? Second priority.

Let’s just say… he’s admiring the ingredients.

GO APE—AND LOOK GOOD DOING IT!

Nothing says power, prestige, and simian supremacy like a matching belt and tie straight from the Planet of the Apes. For the revolutionary on the go, these high-quality vinyl masterpieces feature three-dimensional ape designs of Cousin Cornelius, Dr. Zaius, Alexander, and General Urus—because even in a dystopian future, style matters.

For the low, low price of $4.99, you’ll be ready to lead the resistance, enforce the law, or simply assert your dominance at the next big function. And if that’s not enough? Each order comes with a FREE glossy Planet of the Apes photo—a reminder of the civilization we lost… or the one we gained.

The Great Ape approves—because even a brutal dystopia deserves a little fashion sense.

Ann Sheridan: The Oomph Girl Who Hated the Name

She had the look, the presence, and that certain something men supposedly desired—at least according to a Warner Bros. committee of 25 men who crowned her “The Oomph Girl.” Ann Sheridan despised the label, much like Rita Hayworth loathed being called “The Love Goddess.” But the nickname stuck, and it helped cement her status as a pin-up icon of the early 1940s.

Sheridan’s breakthrough came with They Drive By Night (1940), a hard-hitting trucking drama alongside Humphrey Bogart and George Raft. She followed it up with her biggest Warner Bros. hit, King’s Row (1942), starring Ronald Reagan. Though she excelled in comedies, war films, and musicals, true blockbuster success eluded her.

Her best noir performances arrived later with Nora Prentiss (1947) and The Unfaithful (1948). But by 1949, her contract at Warner Bros. ended after a dispute over a role at RKO. Moving to Universal, she delivered two more standout noir performances: Woman on the Run (1950) and Steel Town (1952), the latter being her last major film.

In the 1950s and ’60s, television became her stage, but Hollywood never fully recognized the depth of her talent. Sheridan passed away in 1967 after a battle with cancer, leaving behind a 30-year career that deserved far more acclaim than it received.

The Great Ape sees, knows, and approves—but refuses to let 25 Warner Bros. suits define “Oomph.” If Ann Sheridan had any more presence, screen doors would have swung open on their own. A Love Goddess? Oomph Girl? Call it what you want. She was the dame who could knock you dead with a look and leave you thanking her for it.

Cybernetic Salvation

Faith meets circuitry in Rowena Morrill’s vision of a robotic clergy, where devotion and technology intertwine. A bishop in purple robes preaches while a humble monk prunes a miraculous, mechanical-rooted rosebush.

Is this a peek into a dystopian future? No! This is spirituality in steel, a future where faith evolves but never dies. Even machines seek enlightenment.

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Norman Eastman paints the end of the Reich—wet, wild, and full of fire.

The bridge burns, the bullets fly, and the mission doesn’t stop for deep water. The war gave her a rifle, a cause, and a score to settle. She doesn’t hesitate.

Bluebook For Men Oct 1966

Tuning In to the Cosmic Frequency

This was more than a listening session. This was a sonic experiment, a psychedelic séance, a deep dive into the unknown.

Inside a plastic bubble, plugged into wooden boxes of mystery, these pioneers sought more than music. They tuned their minds like radios, searching for signals from beyond the static of reality.

A far-out frequency, a trip without moving, a moment where sound shaped space.

The Great Ape approves—vibes detected.

Emilio Pucci’s Freeze Protection Mask – 1963

High fashion or nightmare fuel? Emilio Pucci’s Freeze Protection Mask was designed for extreme cold, but it looks like it’s ready to haunt your ski lodge. Captured by Carlo Mollino at Casa Del Sol in Cervinia, Aosta Valley, this design sits somewhere between futuristic elegance and unsettling anonymity.

The Great Ape shivers—not from the cold, but from the eerie perfection of it all.

Bev’s Had Enough

“You were great, Bev!”
“I’ll NEVER forgive you for getting me into this!”

Well… something went horribly wrong.

Will Shire looks pleased. Bev looks like she lost a bet. The mysterious white mess? Not helping the situation.

Whatever just happened, she didn’t sign up for it—at least not knowingly.

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Gasoline Junkies and the Suicide Kings of Speed

Redline at Dawn, Wreckage by Nightfall

The throttle stayed pinned, the speedometer shattered, and the finish line blurred into the great beyond.

Clocked and Caught!

A radar speed check so vintage, it probably measures in horsepower per gallon of leaded gas. The Highway Patrol means business, and that ’58 Ford isn’t outrunning anything but its warranty.

The Great Ape respects the hustle—but hopes they checked their own speed first!

No badge. No backup. No time.

The air stinks of dust and gun oil. She thrashes against the rope, but the real fight is on the floor. A bad man with a bad plan, a loaded .38, and a pair of desperate eyes crawling toward the only shot he’s got.

Mickey Spillane’s world doesn’t hand out second chances. The line between hero and corpse is one bullet wide.

Rocks, Fire, and Cosmic Chaos

Space rages. Comets blaze, meteors crash, and the cosmos flings debris like a celestial bar fight.

One minute, a streak across the night sky—a wish, a wonder. The next? A city-flattening wake-up call. Some burn, some leave craters, and some prove that space plays by no rules.

Comets? They bring the drama. Dust tails stretching for millions of miles, carving neon scars across the black. Meteors? More like surprise guests, sometimes friendly, sometimes fatal.

The Great Ape will watch the skies, but don’t expect a warning shot.

Did You Know? The Great Ape Knows!

That Smell After It Rains? It Has a Name—And It’s Not “Wet Dirt.”

That fresh, earthy smell after a good rain? It’s called petrichor. Sounds mystical, but it’s science in action—oils from plants mix with bacteria in the soil, then get released into the air when raindrops hit the ground.

Humans love it. Some animals use it to track storms. Nature just flexing on us, as usual.

Sounds smarter. Confuses people. The Great Ape Knows & Approves.

The 1970s—Where Wheels, Style, and Sunshine Collide

Neon piping, knee-high socks, and the kind of confidence only four wheels and a disco era can bring. The breeze feels better when you’re rolling, and the world belongs to those who move fast and look good doing it.

The Great Ape salutes the roller queens of the past and present. Speed, swagger, and smiles—that’s the way these girls roll.

Sorta Street Legal

The Great Ape Presents: The Rezillos – Flying Saucer Attack (1978)

The year? 1978. The sound? Pure new-wave punk chaos. The Rezillos crashed onto the scene like a rock ‘n’ roll UFO, covered in neon and dripping with sci-fi swagger.

“Flying Saucer Attack” rips through speakers like a B-movie panic attack at full throttle. Guitars rev like jet engines, Fay Fife’s vocals hit like a raygun blast, and the whole thing surges forward with the urgency of a Martian invasion set to a danceable beat.

This was punk with comic book energy—raw, unpolished, and built for speed. The Rezillos followed no rulebook. They rewrote them in dayglo ink and played them at double-time. Their debut album, Can’t Stand the Rezillos, was a technicolor punch to the face, blending punk, surf rock, and a healthy dose of ‘50s sci-fi madness.

And The Great Ape? He’s got the album, cranked loud, spinning like a saucer on a collision course with your skull.

The vid is ready. Watch, listen, and remember—punk never had to be serious to be dangerous.

Chris Moore’s Spaceport of… Unintended Implications

That pink space station hovers in the deep freeze of space, with a John Lennon-esque cyborg posing at the window. Bold. Curved. Suspiciously anatomical. The ships dock, the elite step out, but let’s be honest… some designs raise more questions than answers.

Space is cold, but Chris Moore knew how to heat things up. The Great Ape declares this a Boobie Prize winner in every sense!

She wasn’t looking for trouble. Trouble found her.

True Detective pulp cover (1952)

A deal goes down in the shadows, and she’s in the wrong place with the wrong kind of curiosity. A man in a fedora counts out gold like it’s a death warrant, and she knows too much already.

Step too close, and she’s part of the story. Step back, and she walks away forever. No one gets both.

Full Throttle, No Fear!

This bloke is no Sunday Driver—this is drag racing at its rawest. A fire-breathing machine, a masked wheelman, and a V8 screaming for mercy. The only thing cooler than the goggles and fire suit is those zoomies and fact that he’s probably shifting with one hand and steering with the other.

The Great Ape salutes these speed demons of the 60’s

She Paid for More Than Just His Time

“Maybe I shouldn’t have offered him money…”

Well, well, well… someone made an investment.

But hey, he’s handsome. He’s strong. Whatever deal went down, she’s not exactly complaining.

A business arrangement? A mistake? Or the best money she’s ever spent?

Either way, she’s feeling it in the morning.

LONG-PLAYING TERROR—GHOSTS, MONSTERS, AND APES!

Step back into the golden age of horror radio, where Orson Welles, Bela Lugosi, Boris Karloff, and John Carradine sent shivers down spines with their tales of terror. This 3-record set resurrects the very shows that once kept listeners clutching their radios in suspense. The Great Radio Horror Shows—because fear never goes out of style.

And if you prefer your nightmares with a side of primate power, the Planet of the Apes narrated LP brings the entire saga to your turntable. Four tales of dystopian doom, including Escape from the Planet of the Apes and Beneath the Planet of the Apes, all for only $2.25. Monkey business never sounded so good.

But maybe you need pure auditory terror? Enter Ghostly Sounds—a collection of eerie effects, howls, groans, and rattling chains. From the mad howls of a cursed beast to the shrieks echoing through a vampire’s castle, these LPs deliver 100% nightmare fuel.

The Great Ape approves—because whether it’s horror, howls, or hostile primates, there’s no better way to haunt your stereo.

Any Time, Any Place – The Eggleston Lens on American Grit

William Eggleston captured raw, unfiltered life. Here, a vision of gritty glamour and unapologetic presence unfolds beneath a “No Parking Any Time” sign. A red dress draped over sharp angles, a wig defying gravity, and heels that have seen the pavement’s worst. The city keeps moving, indifferent. A man passes, brown bag in hand, his glance caught somewhere between curiosity and indifference.

This is not staged. This is not polished. This is America in color, in motion, in truth.

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Al Rossi captures the end of the line.

The streets whisper secrets, but she won’t talk. A siren’s glow, a badge, a pair of cuffs—just another night in the city where the past always catches up. The cop knows her type. She knows his.

You’ve Lived Too Long, True Adventures interior, March 1957

Flying through history, filming the fire.

A Martin B-57B Canberra cuts through the sky, a silent witness to humanity’s most reckless spectacle—Operation Hardtack – Test Poplar, 12 July 1958. Below, an atomic fireball rips through the Pacific, a testament to man’s boundless ingenuity and equal capacity for destruction. The jet’s polished skin reflects the inferno, a metallic ghost caught between science and madness.

The Great Ape remains fascinated. Not by the bomb, not by the science, but by the species that builds, tests, and perfects ways to unmake itself. Evolution gave them fire, and they made it nuclear. Progress? Maybe. De-evolution? Absolutely.

Supa Nova

The Force of Comedy—Galactic Legends in Disguise

George Lucas and Yoda (performed by Frank Oz) step into Groucho Marx mode in this rare 1989 moment. Captured during an interview for The Jim Henson Hour, this playful shot blends Star Wars wisdom with classic comedy—because even Jedi Masters and their creators know when to crack a joke.

The Great Ape approves—De-evolution, this is not.

Did You Know? The Great Ape Knows!

Your Tiny Finger Has a Name—And It’s Not “The Little Useless One.”

That small, often-ignored finger at the end of your hand? It’s called the minimus. Latin for “smallest,” because apparently, calling it “pinky” wasn’t fancy enough.

It might not get the glory, but try holding a cup, typing, or throwing a proper punch without it. Minimus deserves respect.

Sounds smarter. Confuses people. The Great Ape Knows & Approves.

Stanley Pitt’s Flash Gordon illustrations from Heritage fanzine, 1972, are a masterclass in pulp adventure.

Bold lines, dramatic compositions, and a flair for the fantastic—this is space opera in black and white, stripped to its purest form.

Stanley Pitt was Australia’s first sci-fi comic artist and a master storyteller who packed every panel with golden-age energy. His work captures the essence of Flash Gordon: daring heroes, dangerous villains, and a universe teetering between peril and romance. From high-speed cosmic chases to jungle planets dripping with mystery, these illustrations scream action.

You feel Pitt’s art. Every character is alive with tension, every pose charged with movement. Whether it’s a last-second blaster draw or a smirk between battles, Pitt understood that Flash Gordon was more than sci-fi—it was a spectacle.

Some artists illustrate—Pitt ignited the page. The Great Ape swells with pride—Pitt was an Aussie!

The Future Was Orange—And It Had Knobs to Prove It.

This wasn’t just a television. This was a spaceship control panel disguised as home entertainment. The slanted angular design? A statement. The bold orange casing? A declaration of independence from boring black-and-white boxes. Those side-mounted knobs? The last thing standing between you and the perfect UHF signal.

The Great Ape approves. Television was meant to be loud—even when it wasn’t on.

A Rocker in a Rocker?!?

Debbie Harry, punk’s high priestess, trades stage dives for a throne of wood and rebellion. Black leather, platinum fury, and a gaze sharp enough to cut through the static—Debs is ready to rock!.

The Great Ape approves. Some queens sit on thrones. Others break them.

WIND ‘EM UP AND WATCH ‘EM GO!

Forget high-tech gadgets—these little primates are pure mechanical magic. Standing at a mighty 3 inches tall, these plastic wind-up wonders are ready to march straight out of the Forbidden Zone and into your collection. Dr. Zaius, with his fiery locks and blue suit, and the ever-serious Cousin Cornelius, dressed in his classic brown ensemble, trundle forward one tiny foot at a time—as long as you remember to crank that key!

For just $1.39 a piece, these are the greatest little robots since Metropolis—or at least the most determined apes to ever stomp across a tabletop.

The Great Ape approves—because sometimes, simple fun is the best fun.

Times Square, NYC, 1958 – Shot by Allyn Baum

A lone clown, a desolate subway platform, and a city that never sleeps. New York’s midnight reality—unfiltered, unscripted, and more than a little unsettling. The Great Ape thinks it’s kind of spooky and is taking another train.

This 1956 Packard Caribbean moves with authority.

Chrome-lined, leather-wrapped, and engineered for those who expect every arrival to be an event. The road bends to it, valet attendants stand straighter, and the world slows just to watch.

Elegance, power, and presence—nothing less will do.

Scooter’s Standards Are… Obvious

“Scooter, I think she’s very talented!” “But I haven’t DONE anything yet!”

Doesn’t matter. Talent has already been detected.

She could be a singer, a dancer, or a world-class mathematician—but Scooter’s evaluation process seems purely… visual.

Judging by their faces, these two have discovered a whole new appreciation for the arts.

Allen Tie Center… and the Case of the Vanishing Poverty Caps

A Cadillac Coupe DeVille sits low, long, and mean in front of a shuttered storefront. The paint gleams. The chrome winks. The ride screams status. But hold on… what’s that bloke up to near the wheel?

Checking the tires? Admiring the ride? Or liberating a poverty cap for personal gain?

The Great Ape keeps an eye on these things. One second it’s a hubcap, next it’s the whole car.

Michael Whelan’s Galactic Cold Front

Fur-lined warriors, high-tech weaponry, and a frozen wasteland under a cosmic moon. Michael Whelan knew how to paint a rebellion that looked like a heavy metal album cover and a sci-fi epic in one.

The Great Ape sees defiance, desperation, and jellyfish-like horrors floating through an alien sky. More than survival. This is conquest.

Lana Turner and Ava Gardner ruled Hollywood with style, scandal, and a friendship that never faded.

Glamorous, fearless, and bonded by the kind of connection that outshined even the brightest studio lights. They lived big, loved hard, and left behind a legacy draped in diamonds and controversy.

The Great Ape respects the power of starlets who knew how to steal the scene—on and off the screen.

*

Cybernetic Outlaws and Circuit Board Cities

The Price of Freedom? Your Humanity

Wires replace veins, credits replace loyalty, and the law is just another corporation with a bigger gun. You play by the rules, you lose.

When the only date you’re getting is with your pen pal… and it’s just the calendar.

Chaos, Contrasts, and a 35-Cent Beer

A bare foot, grimy and lifeless, dangles off a makeshift stretcher strapped to a car. A body in transit, a mystery in motion. Nearby, a man in a crisp white shirt devours a sandwich like nothing’s wrong. Lunch stops for no one.

In the background, a guitar player strums, indifferent, lost in a different rhythm. The BEER 35¢ sign promises cheap relief or hard regret. Fire escapes and alleyways frame the scene—a slice of urban poetry with a bite.

The Great Ape sees life, death, and a meal in between. What’s the real story? Probably better left untold.

Morton Künstler paints a tropical hell where the only law is survival.

No wardens, no walls, no second chances. A chain gang on the loose, a woman with nothing but a spear, and one last fight before the sun sets. The jungle swallows the weak. Only the strong walk out.

Penal Mistress of Bass Strait, Men magazine interior, 1959

Little Boy meets Little Anarchy.

One changed the world in an instant. The other? Just here to see what the hell humans were thinking.

A punk in battle-worn denim stares down the first uranium bomb ever used in war, a machine designed to end cities with a flash and a roar. On one side: raw destruction. On the other: rebellion, defiance, and a healthy distrust of authority.

The Great Ape watches with fascination. One species, two creations—both made to shake the system. One drops, the other detonates in its own way. De-evolution marches on.

Did You Know? The Great Ape Knows!

The Struggle to Get Out of Bed Has a Name—And It’s Not “Monday.”

That battle between you and your blanket every morning? It’s called dysania. Not laziness, not lack of motivation—a full-blown condition where getting up feels impossible.

So next time someone nags you for hitting snooze five times, tell them you’re experiencing a severe case of dysania. Sounds medical, sounds serious—buys you at least five more minutes.

Sounds smarter. Confuses people. The Great Ape Knows & Approves.

Alright, My Fine Furry Finks, time for a challenge!

Welcome to Horror High! Look at this rogues’ gallery of fresh-faced yearbook legends. Innocent? Not a chance. Every single one of them grew up to haunt your nightmares, save (or doom) humanity, and become icons of horror and sci-fi mayhem.

The question is: WHO ARE THEY?
And more importantly: WHAT MOVIES MADE THEM LEGENDS?

Drop your guesses before the shadows get longer and the boomstick gets loaded…

Here’s the breakdown of the celebrities and their iconic horror movie roles from Horror High Rogues Gallery!

Top Row:

1. Tony Todd – Candyman (1992)
   • “Give you sweets” refers to his role as the vengeful, hook-handed spirit in Candyman, who appears when you say his name five times.
2. Kate Beckinsale – Underworld (2003)
   • “Wear black latex” is a nod to her role as Selene, the vampire Death Dealer, who wears an iconic black leather/latex outfit while fighting werewolves.
3. Robert Englund – A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984)
   • “Invade your dreams” fits perfectly, as he played Freddy Krueger, the burned killer who haunts people in their dreams.

Middle Row:

4. Christopher Lee – Dracula (1958)
   • “Become a legend” fits because he portrayed Dracula in Hammer Horror films, solidifying his status as a horror icon.
5. Vera Farmiga – The Conjuring (2013)
   • “Hunt demons” represents her role as Lorraine Warren, a real-life paranormal investigator battling supernatural entities.
6. Wesley Snipes – Blade (1998)
   • “Be a daywalker” relates to his role as Blade, a half-vampire vampire hunter who can walk in sunlight.

Bottom Row:

7. Rebecca Ferguson – Doctor Sleep (2019)
   • “Eat your soul” references her character Rose the Hat, who leads a cult that consumes the life force of children with psychic abilities.
8. Anthony Hopkins – The Silence of the Lambs (1991)
   • “Eat your liver” is a nod to Hannibal Lecter, who famously dined on a victim’s liver with “fava beans and a nice Chianti.”
9. Bruce Campbell – Evil Dead franchise
   • “Use a boomstick” refers to Ash Williams, who wields a shotgun (aka his “boomstick”) while battling the undead.

W. Eugene Smith’s Man of Fire and Steel

A face carved by labor. Goggles reflecting a world forged in heat and sweat. Pittsburgh, 1955—where steelworkers shaped skylines and paid in blood, grit, and molten light.

The Great Ape sees a warrior of industry. No cape. No mask. Just iron will and burning glass.

The Future Had a Pedestal—And It Stood Tall.

This TV was a mid-century marvel and a statement piece. A perfect blend of space-age optimism and living room dominance, this screen stood proud, demanding attention like the monolith from 2001: A Space Odyssey. No TV stand? No problem. This built-in tulip base made it clear—television had arrived, and it wasn’t sitting in the corner anymore.

The Great Ape admires its elevated authority.

Now THIS is a Frankenstein’s monster of the road!

Johnny Cash’s “One Piece at a Time” was just a song—this beast is REAL. A glorious, mind-melting tribute to automotive excess, built from more cars than a junkyard on a caffeine bender.

We’re talking ’29 Hudson, ’66 Corvette, ’70 Mustang, ’73 Plymouth, ’99 Cadillac, ’71 Mach 1—and that’s just scratching the chrome-plated surface!

Some mad genius looked at a parts bin and said: “YES.”

The Great Ape salutes this rolling monument to mechanical madness

Schulz, Snoopy, and the Soul of America

On November 9, 1970, Peanuts creator Charles M. Schulz put his philosophy on paper. This went beyond comic strips. This letter to Joel Lipton speaks of a timeless struggle: defining what makes a good citizen in an era where democracy feels shaky.

Schulz doesn’t mince words. Those who shout the loudest about ‘American Virtues’ are often the ones who lack true faith in the country. He believed America’s strength lies in protecting its smallest minorities—a statement as relevant today as it was over 50 years ago.

And because it’s Schulz, the letter comes with a bonus: Charlie Brown, silent and uncertain, standing next to a Snoopy who has clearly given up for the day. A visual mic-drop if there ever was one.

The Great Ape approves. Even Snoopy knows that real strength is looking out for the little guy.

Bruce Might Need a Break

“Home…? That’s funny… Where do I live?”

Crime-fighting all night. No sleep. Too many concussions. Now Batman’s lost his own address.

Wayne Manor? The Batcave? An alley behind a Denny’s? Anything’s possible.

Alfred better pick him up before this gets worse.

Sweet 57

Evel Knievel – Continental Divide Raceway, 1972

The man. The myth. The human cannonball in a leather jumpsuit. Evel Knievel lived to defy gravity, sanity, and the fine art of self-preservation.

This was 1972, Continental Divide Raceway, Colorado. Evel launched his iron steed over a lineup of vans, defying gravity, sanity, and the fine art of self-preservation.

Did he land it? That’s not the point. The Great Ape salutes the madness!

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Dawn Wells: America’s Sweetheart on a Deserted Island

Few television characters have cemented themselves in the pop culture consciousness quite like Mary Ann Summers, the wholesome, all-American girl-next-door played by Dawn Wells on Gilligan’s Island (1964–1967). While the show only ran for three seasons, its endless reruns and Wells’ charming portrayal made Mary Ann a timeless figure—sweet but not naïve, down-to-earth but subtly alluring. Her warmth, wit, and quiet resilience made her more than just another sitcom character; she was everybody’s favorite castaway.

From Miss Nevada to Mary Ann – Born in Reno, Nevada, in 1938, Wells first gained attention as Miss Nevada, representing her home state in the 1959 Miss America pageant. With a background in theater and a natural charisma that set her apart, she transitioned smoothly into Hollywood, where she landed guest roles in hit shows like 77 Sunset Strip, Maverick, Bonanza, and The Joey Bishop Show. However, it was her casting as Mary Ann—the Kansas farm girl with a heart of gold—that would define her career.

The Great Debate: Mary Ann or Ginger? As Gilligan’s Island captured audiences, it sparked one of television’s most enduring pop culture debates: Mary Ann or Ginger? While Tina Louise’s Ginger Grant embodied the glitz and glamour of a Hollywood starlet, Mary Ann was the girl-next-door, the one you could bring home to meet your parents. This dynamic only heightened Wells’ appeal, making her character a staple of 1960s television and beyond.

Beyond the Island – Unlike many actors who struggle to break free from their defining roles, Wells embraced her legacy while continuing to act in various film and television projects. She made guest appearances on shows like The Invaders (1967), Wild Wild West, and ALF, proving her versatility beyond the palm-fringed shores of Gilligan’s Island.

She also found success in theater, starring in productions ranging from The Owl and the Pussycat to Steel Magnolias. In addition, Wells became an author and public speaker, penning the book What Would Mary Ann Do? A Guide to Life, offering life lessons inspired by her famous character.

A Legacy That Endures Dawn Wells remained a beloved icon until her passing in 2020, with her portrayal of Mary Ann ensuring she would never be forgotten. Mary Ann was a symbol of kindness, optimism, and timeless charm. Whether you watched her first-run or caught her in reruns decades later, Mary Ann felt like an old friend.

The Great Ape salutes Dawn Wells—a woman who proved that sometimes, the sweetest characters leave the strongest impressions.

Banned Commercial: Mary Ann vs. Ginger – The Ultimate Pie Fight

For decades, scholars, philosophers, and red-blooded TV watchers alike have grappled with the ultimate question—Mary Ann or Ginger? One was wholesome, sweet, and secretly lethal with a coconut cream pie. The other was glamorous, fiery, and capable of seducing her way off the island if she felt like it.

Both brought their own brand of dangerous allure to Gilligan’s Island, but let’s face it—there was never a wrong answer. The battle rages on, the arguments are endless, and in the end, maybe we were never supposed to choose.

The Great Ape salutes both icons, approves of the chaos, and demands more pie fights in television history!

10 Things you never knew about Gilligan’s Island

1. The Skipper’s real name, Jonas Grumby, is only mentioned twice in the entire series.
2. The character of Mary Ann Summers was originally a secretary named Bunny, who bore no resemblance to the final version.
3. Ginger was not a movie star in the original script, and was also a secretary.
4. The lagoon set was drained and used a parking lot when it was not in use.
5. Natalie Schafer (Mrs. Howell) was 13 years older than her on screen husband, and refused to tell the cast or producers her real age.
6. Footage of the S.S. Minnow leaving Hawaii shows a flag at half mast on the shore. This is because it was filmed on the day of John F. Kennedy’s assassination.
7. Alan Hale was filming in Utah when he got a call offering him a chance to audition for the role of Skipper. He rode a horse to the highway, the hitchhiked to an airport, where he flew to Hollywood to screen test.
8. Although Gilligan’s first name is never mentioned, the creator said he liked the name “Willie” for the character
9. The Coast Guard occasionally received letters from people asking for the rescue of the cast members, apparently not realizing the show was a sitcom.
10. A skirt worn by Mary Ann was auctioned off for over $20,000 at a Beverly Hills auction house.

Matchbox Rolamatics Clipper – The Future Was Fast!

This metallic magenta missile was pure ’70s dream fuel. The Matchbox Rolamatics Clipper looked like it drove straight out of a sci-fi flick, ready to hit light speed in a neon haze.

That fliptop canopy? That sleek wedge design? Straight-up space-age cool. And the Rolamatics gimmick meant moving parts for maximum action.

A toy car? No. A time machine. The Great Ape approves and would love to be picking this baby out of the news agents window!

The Future Had Whitewalls and Floated.

Why settle for just a car or just a boat when you can have both—and look good doing it?

The Water-Mobile, a 1947 fever dream of chrome, fins, and amphibious ambition, was a lounge on wheels that could casually conquer the waves. Designed for post-war go-getters who wanted a Cadillac that laughed at rivers, this rolling, floating dream promised the freedom to drive into the unknown—then keep going when the road ran out.

High style, low practicality. Perfect.

Did You Know? The Great Ape Knows!

That Weird Feeling After Overeating? It Has a Name—And It’s Not “Regret.”

You know that moment when you lean back, pat your stomach, and wonder why you went for that extra plate? That bloated, sluggish, food-coma sensation is called crapulence.

Sounds like something a medieval doctor would diagnose, but it’s real. Too much food, too much drink, and now you’re paying the price.

Next time someone groans after a feast, tell them they’ve been struck by crapulence. Makes it sound serious—buys you time before dessert.

Sounds smarter. Confuses people. The Great Ape Knows & Approves.

The Future Was Round, and It Looked Amazing.

This space-age sphere was more than a television—it was a portal to the atomic-age dreamscape. Designed to make you feel like you were watching TV aboard a moon base, it screamed retro-futurism before that was even a thing. Tuning in was an event as well as entertainment.

The Great Ape approves of its orbital supremacy.

Cynthia the Celebrity Mannequin—The Star Who Never Spoke

She debuted in 1932, but by July 12, 1937, she was on the cover of Life magazine. Cartier and Tiffany sent her jewels. Lilly Daché, the legendary French-American milliner, designed hats just for her. Top couturiers dressed her in the latest fashions. Furriers draped her in mink.

Cynthia was high society’s strangest obsession. Created by Lester Gaba, she became a silent icon, a muse of the elite, and a socialite who never had to say a word.

The Great Ape thinks that’s not weird. Not weird at all.

Action For Men – January 1969. Earl Norem paints a deep-sea jackpot with a body count.

Nazi gold sits untouched on the ocean floor, but not for long. The treasure hunters came prepared—spear guns, flippers, and nerves of steel. Too bad they aren’t the only ones looking.

Finders keepers? Only if they make it to the surface.

A Night in the Gorbals: The Real Spirit of 1968

This is a portal into the heart of Glasgow’s Gorbals in 1968. A world where the pub wasn’t just a drinking hole but a battleground of stories, laughter, and unfiltered opinions. The air is thick with cigarette smoke, the tables bear the marks of countless pints, and every face tells a tale.

Front and center, the woman in the polka-dot and dark colored dress clutches her drink with the authority of someone who’s seen it all. Maybe she’s recounting the time she told off a nosy neighbor, or perhaps she’s halfway through a joke that’s about to bring the house down. She does have that sort of half smile. To her right, her companion leans in, the wide-eyed look of someone who’s just heard something scandalous but is far too polite to let it show.

Meanwhile, in the background, a handshake with a kiss seals, either a deal, an argument, or just an agreement that another round is in order. The pint glasses stand like silent witnesses to it all—some full, some empty, all essential. The floor is littered with cigarette butts and scraps of paper, remnants of conversations long forgotten.

This is working-class Glasgow in its rawest, most unfiltered form. A night where friendships are cemented over whisky, where arguments can turn into lifelong bonds, and where the pub is more than a watering hole—it’s home.

The Great Ape salutes this scene—a perfect, chaotic symphony of life, laughter, and lager.

Green is Nice

The Great Ape Salutes Sweet – The Glammed-Up Hit Machine That Packed a Punch

Look past the hair, the glitter, the platform boots—Sweet was a rock ‘n’ roll powerhouse.

This lineup? Brian Connolly, Steve Priest, Andy Scott, Mick Tucker. Four blokes who took bubblegum pop, shoved it through an amplifier, and turned it into something louder, sharper, and tougher.

They made the charts explode with “Ballroom Blitz,” “Fox on the Run,” “Action,” and “Teenage Rampage.” Every song packed hooks sharp enough to take an eye out, riffs built for stadiums, and drums that hit like a hammer to the skull.

Producers Chinn & Chapman wrote the early hits, but Sweet wasn’t a puppet band. They fought for control, cranked the amps, and proved they had the chops to run with the heavyweights. The glitter? A distraction. Underneath? Hard rock muscle.

The Great Ape has them cranked to max volume. Get in, strap up, and let the glam gods take over.

The Great Ape Presents: Sweet – The Ballroom Blitz (1973)

September 14, 1973. Sweet drops a glam rock grenade that would rattle speakers for decades.

The Ballroom Blitz came from a real riot. Kilmarnock, Scotland. A gig gone sideways. The crowd turned hostile, the band got chased offstage, and rock ‘n’ roll chaos turned into legend.

Nicky Chinn and Mike Chapman bottled that mayhem into a song. What came out? Pure glam fury. Pounding rhythms, electrifying guitar riffs, and Brian Connolly commanding the mic like a rock ‘n’ roll drill sergeant.

Then there’s that intro.

“Are you ready, Steve? Andy? Mick?”

A roll call that shot the song into history. The UK took it to No. 2. Canada made it No. 1. The US locked it at No. 5. Everywhere, it stuck.

Decades later, The Ballroom Blitz still blows the doors off every speaker it touches. Films, covers, pop culture—this track refuses to die.

The Great Ape has it cranked. Turn it up or get out of the way.

Jean Frisano’s Cosmic Standoff – Galactus vs. ROM

Galactus hungers. ROM resists. The Devourer of Worlds extends his hand, but the Spaceknight refuses to kneel. A battle of titans, a war of wills, a showdown written in the stars.

Galactus devours, but ROM fights for something bigger. The Great Ape sees doom in motion, a planet in peril, and a deal that always ends the same way—badly.

MAIL-ORDER MAYHEM: A GRAB BAG OF GLORIOUS ODDITIES!

Step into the chaotic world of vintage mail-order delights, where 8-inch bendable superheroes, giant insects, walking apes, and bouncy bats share catalog space with bizarre pulp fiction and the MAGNAJECTOR!

The Mighty Spiderman, Tricky Joker, and Infamous Penguin have already flown off the shelves, but don’t worry—there’s still plenty of madness to go around. Maybe a 14-inch-long, horrifyingly lifelike wasp is more your speed? Or how about the Big Black Bouncy Bat, which isn’t real but sure as hell looks like it’s coming for you?

Looking to expand your mind instead of your monster collection? The Impossible Virgin and Heidi Fan-zine are waiting for you, because nothing screams variety like creepy bugs, caped crusaders, and pulp erotica in the same ad.

The Great Ape tips his hat to the brave souls who rolled the dice on mail-order magic—because mystery was half the fun.

The Eye Chart for a World in Focus – George Mayerle’s 1907 Masterpiece

Vision meets ambition. In 1907, George Mayerle, a German-born optometrist in San Francisco, designed this multilingual eye chart—a test for eyesight and a testament to a rapidly globalizing world. With seven vertical panels, it covers English, German, Japanese, Chinese, Russian, and Hebrew, plus a section of symbols for children and illiterate adults.

Mayerle didn’t stop at letters. Astigmatism tests, eye muscle strength checks, and color vision assessments (for railway and steamboat workers) made this a cutting-edge diagnostic tool. He proudly pitched it as “the only chart that can be used in any part of the world.”

Science? Salesmanship? Mayerle blurred the lines. He was a respected charter member of the American Optometric Association, yet he also sold “Mayerle’s Diamond Crystal Eye Glasses” and “Mayerle’s Eyewater”, a supposed miracle tonic. His marketing even linked his products to American imperialism, boasting that Admiral Dewey used his glasses during the Spanish-American War.

The Great Ape sees clearly—Mayerle knew how to test vision and sell a vision.

John Duillo paints a pulp nightmare where the walls sweat fear.

A dungeon, a damsel, and two butchers who prefer their work slow. One sharp blade, one dull, and a long night ahead. The problem with monsters? They always think they hold the knife.

Jughead’s Hunger Knows No Bounds

“…BUT YOU JUST ATE VERONICA!”

Betty’s in shock. Jughead’s in full crisis mode.

Did Veronica turn into food? Was this a dare gone too far? Or did Jughead finally hit a hunger-induced blackout?

If there’s a logical explanation, he better chew fast and come up with it.

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The Grit, the Grift, and the Getaway

No One Walks Clean in a Dirty Town

A city that chews you up and spits you out—if you’re lucky. If you ain’t, they don’t find your body until the river thaws.

What’s inside a girl!

Ivy Rorschach played in The Cramps—she built the sound, the attitude, and the legend.

The Cramps’ sound was a mix of vintage rockabilly with dark, experimental punk influences, pulling from 1950s and 1960s rock ‘n’ roll and running it through a gritty, underground lens. Ivy’s playing, raw and relentless, became the backbone of this sonic assault.

She is more than a musician—she’s the blueprint for every guitarist who knows rock ‘n’ roll should be raw, reckless, and drenched in danger.

Alongside Lux Interior’s howling vocals and the band’s warped, reverb-soaked instrumentation, Ivy helped forge what became “psychobilly”—a subgenre that fused rockabilly’s sinister twang with the full-throttle chaos of punk.

The Cramps never revived rock ‘n’ roll—they dragged it from the grave, threw a leather jacket on it, and set it loose with a fuzz pedal.

Their influence in punk and underground rock is undeniable. They never played for the charts. They played for the misfits, the outcasts, the ones who understood that rock ‘n’ roll was never meant to be safe. Ivy’s role in crafting The Cramps’ aesthetic and sound cemented her place as an icon in rock history.

Ivy Rorschach, a name pulled from comics and the subconscious, never followed—she led. The driving sound of The Cramps, she shaped psychobilly, carved its edges, and made it scream.

Throughout the 1980s and 1990s, The Cramps kept their grip on the underground. No radio play, no glossy promotions—just raw, unfiltered rock and a fanbase that never left. Their dedication to DIY culture, their unapologetic style, and their refusal to conform kept them dangerous.

The Cramps never chased trends. They unearthed rock ‘n’ roll’s filthy roots, twisted them with punk energy, and let the whole thing burn. Ivy stood at the center, riffing like a woman possessed, building a sound both hypnotic and feral.

Rockabilly, punk, garage—Ivy never picked a lane. She smashed them together and built something new. The bite of ‘50s tremolo, the menace of Link Wray, the sneer of punk—it all lived in her hands.

Ivy Rorschach’s influence still pulses through modern punk and rockabilly. Generations of musicians trace their sound back to the distorted chaos she unleashed.

DIY to the core, The Cramps never needed the mainstream. The underground was home, and Ivy ruled it. She never watered it down. Never played it safe. Never let the sound go soft.

Ivy Rorschach is more than a name in rock history—she is the sound of rebellion, reverb-drenched and unstoppable.

The Cramps – Naked Girl Falling Down the Stairs

Rock ‘n Roll – More like Tuck and Roll! The Cramps made music like a bar fight in a burning funhouse—loud, unhinged, and dangerous to be near. Lux Interior howls, Poison Ivy slashed, and the whole thing rattled like a jukebox possessed by rock ‘n’ roll demons.

We ain’t talkin’ polished, pretty, and it sure as hell ain’t safe. It’s a psychobilly crash landing wrapped in a Red Vinyl Jumpsuit, Stilettos and bad decisions. And that is just Lux! The riff hits like a shove in the back, the beat tumbles forward, and the whole thing goes down hard—heels over head, laughing all the way.

The Great Ape sees chaos, sees carnage, and lets gravity do the rest.

They Sent a B-Girl to Booby Trap D-Day

Wartime espionage wrapped in silk and sin.

The Allied invasion of Europe balanced on a razor’s edge, but the battlefield wasn’t just on the beaches—it stretched to the bedroom. A Hungarian beauty. A Nazi officer. A bottle of something strong. Every move, every glance, a game of deception where one slip could send secrets spilling faster than a poured drink.

War, like seduction, rewards those who play their hand right.

The Zeppelin-Staaken R.V: When a Bomber Was a Battleship in the Sky

Flying this meant commanding an airborne fortress. The Zeppelin-Staaken R.V bomber, a WWI behemoth, soared over the battlefield like a slow-moving harbinger of destruction, built to drop 1,000-pound surprises on enemy positions.

Forget enclosed cockpits—this was aviation’s no-roof policy at 10,000 feet. The pilots had goggles, leather jackets, and the absolute nerve to fly this monster without a windshield. One wrong move, and you weren’t ejecting—you were just getting thrown to history.

The Great Ape Salutes the Madmen in the Cockpit

Open-air piloting at altitude? Cold. Hand-flying a floating war machine? Colder. No parachutes? Absolute legends. De-evolution confirmed—because seatbelts are for amateurs.

You should see her Peel!

Freeman Elliott’s Applegrower’s Daughter from the October 1953 Ballyhoo Calendar serves up pin-up perfection with a wink and a bite. Curves, golden-era glamour, and a smirk that says she’s in on the joke.

Temptation never looked so effortless. The Great Ape approves.

Did You Know? The Great Ape Knows!

Your Nostril Divider Has a Name—And It’s Not “That Bit in the Middle.”

That little strip of flesh separating your nostrils? It’s called the columella nasi. Fancy name for something whose main job is keeping your airways from collapsing like a bad renovation project.

It might not get the glory, but without it, you’d be breathing through one giant nostril, and that’s nobody’s idea of a good time.

Sounds smarter. Confuses people. The Great Ape Knows & Approves.

NO HELMET. NO FEAR. JUST PURE 70’s DRAGSTER FUN.

A banana seat, zero safety measures, and a determined stare that says, “I was born for this.” The neighborhood dog bears witness. The red muscle car nods in approval. The asphalt? Just another arena for backyard Evel Knievels.

This was childhood when gravity was just a suggestion and scraped knees were a badge of honor.

The Great Ape salutes this fearless daredevil—because balance is overrated, but style is forever.

THE GREAT APE SALUTES THE HAIR THAT DEFIED GRAVITY!

Some say the 80s were about big dreams, but we know the truth—it was about big hair. This was an era where a can of Aqua Net could hold up a skyscraper, where mullets ruled both the front and back, and where the higher the hair, the closer to the synth gods.

From exploding perms to strategic mullets, from mall bangs that could cut through steel to side-swept punk defiance, this collage is a monument to follicular ambition.

Wavy hair or hair waving? Hair today, gone tomorrow? Nah, this was Hell Toupee’—and The Great Ape approves!

“Step right up and witness the last known sighting of a man who dared to challenge the abyss.”

What do we have here? A massive acoustic horn, an ominous tunnel, and a man standing at the edge of the void, contemplating the mysteries of existence. Was this an early experiment in sonic warfare, a wind tunnel for giants, or simply the portal to another dimension?

One thing is certain—whatever they were testing, this guy didn’t stick around for the results.

The Great Ape knows one thing: If you hear a deafening sound and your atoms start vibrating, it’s already too late.

GO APE IN HOLLYWOOD STYLE!

These deluxe, full-over-the-head Hollywood masks are as close as you can get to stepping into the Planet of the Apes without an actual time warp. Made of high-quality vinyl with realistic hair, professional paintwork, and expressive features, these aren’t your average dime-store Halloween specials.

DR. ZAIUS – The philosopher-statesman with a sharp mind and sharper style. If you’re planning to enforce the law of the apes while looking regal, this is the mask for you.

GENERAL ALDO – The scowling, warlike gorilla who’s not interested in peace—only domination. Jet-black fur, a military sneer, and a gaze that could start a revolution. If you’re going for maximum intimidation, this is the face you need.

COUSIN CORNELIUS – The classic chimp hero, brilliant, inquisitive, and as dashing as an ape can be. Perfect for parties, protests, or just confusing the neighbors.

Not a cheap plastic knockoffs—this is your one shot at Hollywood-quality ape transformation.

The Great Ape reckons you need to order now before they go extinct!

“Well, that’ll dry ‘em faster than the sun.”

Nothing says mid-century modern living like mushroom clouds on the horizon and a firm commitment to finishing the laundry. Atomic age or not, whites stay bright, colors stay bold, and fallout is just an extra rinse cycle.

The Great Ape observes with fascination—humans, forever balancing daily chores with de-evolutionary spectacle.

Now that is a machine with attitude!

The Apple Ape-I—the future of computing with zero tolerance for nonsense. It doesn’t boot up—it judges. It doesn’t crash—it rejects you. Steve Jobs wished he had this much raw, primal power in 1976.

The Great Ape computes, commands, and disapproves of your nonsense.

The Great Ape Presents: When Maxwell Smart Met Agent 99 – The Birth of Chaos & Cool

Before the shoe phone, before the cone of silence, before KAOS and CONTROL tangled in endless espionage lunacy, there was this moment. The first meeting of Maxwell Smart and Agent 99, the dynamic duo who would turn spy fiction upside down and rewrite the rules of secret agent comedy.

In the pilot episode of Get Smart, clueless confidence collides with razor-sharp professionalism as Maxwell Smart fumbles his way into history. Agent 99? Effortlessly cool, endlessly patient, and already ten steps ahead. The chemistry? Instant. The chaos? Inevitable.

This is where it all started. The birth of one of television’s greatest comedic partnerships—a mix of wit, slapstick, and deadpan delivery that still holds up today.

The Great Ape has the scene. Watch, laugh, and remember—espionage was never the same after this.

Stubby’s Got Some Explaining to Do

We don’t know who Stubby is, but he’s got a technique.

Rubbing both balls? Sure.
Wetting his fingers? … Okay.
Wiping them on his pants every few minutes? Now we’ve got questions.

Maybe it’s a sport thing. Maybe it’s a nervous tic. Maybe Stubby should keep some of this information to himself.

One thing’s clear—he’s committed to the routine.

The Sea Devils take the plunge into pure pulp insanity!

A deep-sea nightmare unfolds as the Octopus Man—half cephalopod, half horror—lashes out with chains and tentacles, dragging divers into his murky domain. This ain’t just an underwater fight; it’s a battle for survival in the abyss!

The Great Ape approves—because if you’re going to face a sea monster, you better bring a harpoon and a whole lot of nerve!

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Fire-Breathing Monsters and the Maniacs Who Rode Them

Fists Full of Horsepower, Minds Full of Mayhem

Not all beasts have fangs. Some have engines, steel, and a mean streak a mile wide.

Nanook vs. The Law

“License and registration?”

Mate, it doesn’t even have a speedometer.

This cop just pulled over a fuel-altered land missile with no headlights, no fenders, and a driver who looks prepped for nuclear fallout.

Clocked at 200+ mph? Nope. Caught idling too aggressively.

The real crime? Letting this thing stop long enough to get a ticket.

“When you find an ancient helmet but still have errands to run.”

Behold, the archaeologist with style—Manuel Esteve, casually rocking a Corinthian helmet like it’s just another day in 1938. Was this a historical discovery, an avant-garde fashion statement, or the world’s first “don’t talk to me” device?

The suit says business. The cigarette says sophistication. The helmet says “I have seen the past, and it stares back.”

The Great Ape salutes this level of commitment. History waits for no man—but it does respect a well-dressed one.

“Is it just me, or did that lightning bolt have intentions?”

Behold, the Lightning-Struck Gonzo Puppet from Muppets from Space (1999)—an electrifying relic from the moment Gonzo discovered his cosmic origins. Zapped into revelation, this puppet isn’t just fried; it’s history in fuzzy blue form.

Puppeteered by the legendary Dave Goelz, this piece captures the wild charm of everyone’s favorite Whatever. The film itself marked the end of an era, being the last Muppets movie produced by The Jim Henson Company before the Disney takeover.

The Great Ape approves—because if you’re gonna find out you’re an alien, you might as well go out with a spark.

That’s a classic moment—Gonzo ascending into the cosmos, finally learning his true origins!

The Muppets from Space lightning strike scene is pure magic—equal parts bizarre, hilarious, and strangely emotional. That wild-eyed, blue-furred weirdo always knew he was different, but seeing him embraced by his extraterrestrial kin? That’s next-level storytelling.

Post-Strike Gonzo is peak Gonzo. The hair? Fried. The energy? Chaotic. The revelation? Galactic.

If you’ve got the clip, it’s worth revisiting—because few things capture the surreal brilliance of the Muppets like Gonzo getting zapped into enlightenment. One moment he’s poultry-obsessed, the next he’s an interstellar icon.

The Great Ape salutes Gonzo’s journey—because deep down, aren’t we all waiting for our spaceship?

Detective Belli (1969) – Mario Piavano delivers pulp grit with a lethal dose of seduction.

The bed is still warm, the streets are still bleeding. Fists fly. Guns flash. Men settle scores in the gutter while she watches from silk sheets. She knows how this ends—someone walks away, someone gets buried.

Crime doesn’t sleep, and neither does desire.

The Future, Soviet Style

Forget roads. Forget rules. The GAZ-16 hover car was ready to glide over Soviet-era bureaucracy and straight into the space age. Designed in 1962, this air-cushioned dream machine promised a future where potholes, traffic jams, and logic no longer mattered.

Did it work? Technically, yes. Did it replace the Lada? Absolutely not.

A brilliant, bizarre, and utterly doomed experiment—exactly the kind of thing that keeps The Great Ape entertained.

Did You Know? The Great Ape Knows!

Your Champagne Has a Cage—And It’s Not for Decoration.

That twisted wire contraption holding the cork in your champagne bottle? It’s called an agraffe. Not a gimmick, not a pointless extra—it’s the only thing stopping pressurized chaos from launching a cork across the room at Mach speed.

Remove it, and you’re in a high-stakes game of Will This Bottle Explode? Play responsibly.

Sounds smarter. Confuses people. The Great Ape Knows & Approves.

If She’s a Rockin’ Don’t Bother Knockin’

Rafael DeSoto delivers high-altitude pulp at terminal velocity.

Man’s Life – December 1960

Snow, sweat, and survival. A wounded soldier, two desperate women, and a squad of ski-mounted killers in pursuit. No medals, no rescue, just the longest slope down and a fight to stay ahead of death. Faster, or forever.

BIG BIG Trouble – No So little China

Behind the scenes of Big Trouble in Little China (1986), where even the Buddhas break character. John Carpenter’s cult classic dripped with mysticism, martial arts, and madness—but the belly brigade stole the show.

The Great Ape sees warriors, sorcery, and a whole lot of midsection method acting.

Somebody put something in my Drink!

STAND TALL WITH SPIDEY & THE APE!

These Jointed Giant pin-ups are so lifelike, it’s frightening! Spider-Man and Cousin Cornelius tower over the room in glorious full color, with moveable limbs ready for climbing, running, sitting—or just standing there, looking intimidating.

Made from heavy-duty cardboard, these cut-out giants aren’t some flimsy poster—they’ve got presence! Order both and get a discount, or send one to a friend—because every home needs an eight-foot-tall crimefighter or talking ape. Order now before they swing out of stock!

The Great Ape commands you to Decorate and DOMINATE the room.

Mickey Thompson’s Mechanical Madness

Mickey Thompson built more than an engine—he created a Pontiac V8 so radical it made the rest of the drag racing world look like they were pedaling tricycles.

Twin GMC superchargers, custom-built heads, and enough raw mechanical aggression to scare physics into submission. Every bolt, every weld, every insane modification screamed more power, more speed, less sanity.

Built for drag racing’s wild frontier, this was Thompson at his best—pushing past the limits, tearing up the rulebook, and setting it on fire just for fun.

The Great Ape Tips His Wrench to Mickey

Slapping one blower on? Amateur hour. Two? Getting warmer. Four? Now we’re talking. This was de-evolution with a fuel pump—pure mechanical excess, and it was glorious.

“Turn that sucker up, babe!”

A man, a guitar, a woman at the amp—history in the making. He’s got the rhythm, she’s got the volume, and together they’re about to blow the doors off 1940s suburbia.

What they’re cranking up is more than sound—it’s the dawn of amplification. Valve amplifiers, or tube amps, were already making waves in radio and early sound systems, but in the hands of musicians, they became something else entirely: the beating heart of rock and roll.

Born from the vacuum tube technology of the early 20th century, these amps took a humble path—from fragile lab experiments to the roaring stacks of Marshall and Fender that defined music history. The earliest commercial amplifiers, like the Western Electric 91A from the 1920s, were designed for theaters, but by the ‘30s and ‘40s, small-time inventors and tinkerers saw their potential beyond just speech amplification.

Then came Leo Fender, Jim Marshall, and a generation of sound pioneers who took these glowing glass bottles of tone and turned them into weapons of sonic destruction. The warmth, the natural distortion, the sheer power—nothing beats the raw, electrified soul of a tube amp.

The Great Ape salutes this proto-rock & roll power couple and the technology that made rebellion loud. Even if he is a lefty!

When the Mississippi Became a Highway

In February 1936, Mother Nature pulled off a stunt so wild it turned the Mississippi River into a sidewalk. The brutal winter froze the river solid, allowing daring souls to stroll from East St. Louis to St. Louis as if they were just out for a casual walk—on what should have been a churning, icy deathtrap.

For one fleeting moment, the mighty Mississippi wasn’t an obstacle—it was an open road. Workers, families, and thrill-seekers braved the frozen expanse, some treating it as a once-in-a-lifetime adventure, others just trying to shave a few minutes off their commute. The ice groaned, cracked, and held firm—at least for the lucky ones.

Nature flexed, flipped the script, and turned the Mississippi into a highway.

The Great Ape Tips His Hat to 1936

A frozen river? Bold. Walking across it? Bolder. Betting it’ll hold? Reckless genius. De-evolution confirmed—but with style.

The Great Ape Salutes Popcorn Sutton – Moonshine, Rebellion, and a Life Lived on His Terms

Popcorn Sutton ran shine and built a legend in overalls.
The law had no hold on him.

Deep in the hollers of Appalachia, he fired up the stills, worked the copper, and kept the real stuff flowing. His whiskey carried more than a kick—it held heritage, rebellion, and history in a jar.

They called him a criminal. He stood as a moonshiner, a storyteller, and a keeper of the old ways. Prohibition meant nothing to a man who knew the government had no place between a still and the people who wanted the real stuff.

The Great Ape raises a jar to Popcorn Sutton—the last of the real bootleggers. If there’s a still in the afterlife, he’s already got it running.

The Fast and the Mysterious

She’s not fleeing—she’s strategically vanishing. No notes. No goodbyes. No awkward questions. Just a suitcase, a deep sense of urgency, and a firm commitment to not explaining a damn thing.

Call it self-care. Call it a crime scene in progress. Either way, she’s gone before the sheets cool.

Tolkien Knows How to Throw a Party

Forget Hobbits and Rings—this is the ultimate gathering. Professor J.R.R. Tolkien and his wife weren’t just hosting a birthday bash for their son Christopher Tolkien on November 21, 1945—they were staging an epic night of revelry worthy of Middle-earth.

The invitation starts formal, but then it takes a turn: Carriages at midnight. Ambulances at 2 a.m. Wheelbarrows at 5 a.m. Hearses at daybreak. Either this was Oxford’s wildest party of the year, or the Tolkiens were fluent in dark humor. Either way,

The Great Ape approves—this is the kind of night that deserves its own saga.

Amy Irving, Carrie Fisher, and Teri Garr—Thanksgiving, 1977.

Three Hollywood icons, a haze of cigarette smoke, and the kind of conversation that could either change your life or leave you doubled over laughing.

The Great Ape regrets not being at that table—he would’ve brought the bourbon.

Nick Fury: War in One Eye, Fire in the Other

Jim Steranko paints with gunpowder and adrenaline. Fury grips firepower fit for a one-man war, ready to carve order into chaos. The battlefield isn’t coming—it’s already here.

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Big Hair, Tight Jeans, and a Spare to Spare

Pins aren’t the only thing getting knocked down.
That hair? Defying physics.
That stance? Pure confidence.

When your bowling average is solid, but your beehive is flawless, you’ve already won.

ARM YOUR APE LEGIONS!

The Ape & Stallion Kit lets you build an army of mounted gorilla warriors—or just a lone battle-hardened brute. No cement, no fuss—just snap, equip, and charge! Each kit includes a rifle-wielding, sword-swinging ape, galloping into battle atop his mighty war stallion, complete with saddle, reins, and stirrups. Display your fearsome cavalry on the provided stand, or paint them up for extra realism.

At $4.49 a piece, you’re one step closer to gorilla supremacy.

The Great Ape says: Build. Conquer. DOMINATE.

When “Too Much Power” Isn’t Enough

Front wheels? Optional.
Gravity? Merely a suggestion.
Common sense? Left in the pits.

This nitro-fueled bad decision is halfway to orbit, and the driver’s just along for the ride.

That thing behind him? Oh, just the Grim Reaper, trying to keep up.

“Victory Kiss… But Make It Monstrous”

The war is over, but the experiment continues.

Sailors cheer, cameras flash, and somewhere, Dr. Frankenstein nods in approval.

Love? Science? A bolt of both.

And when these two lock lips—history gets rewritten.

Did You Know? The Great Ape Knows!

That Tiny Dot Above an “i” or “j” Has a Name—And It’s Not “A Little Speck.”

That dot sitting on top of your lowercase i and j? It’s called a tittle. Not a mistake, not an afterthought—just a tiny but essential part of the letter doing its job.

Without it, you’d have an “l” or a weird-looking “u.” Small but mighty, the tittle holds the line.

Sounds smarter. Confuses people. The Great Ape Knows & Approves.

The Great Ape Salutes Ridley Scott – The Man Who Saw the Future and Got Punched for It

Blade Runner (1982) hit theaters like a replicant running into a brick wall. Audiences stood confused, critics sharpened their knives, and Pauline Kael went for the jugular. A review so brutal it even took aim at Scott’s beard.

Scott knew better. He saw what others didn’t.

The film flopped, but the vision was too strong to die. Over the years, the world caught up. Cyberpunk dystopia? AI questioning its own existence? Every damn sci-fi film since has owed Blade Runner a debt.

Scott shut out the press. No outsiders would define his work. He took control, fought for his film, and made sure his vision survived.

And so came the Director’s Cut, a move that would reshape cinema. What started as a botched studio release turned into a movement—directors wresting back control of their art. Scott led the charge.

By 2007, he delivered The Final Cut—the real version, the one he always intended. No voiceovers. No studio meddling. Pure, unfiltered vision.

The Great Ape salutes Ridley Scott—the man who refused to let Hollywood bury his masterpiece. Some see the future before anyone else does. The trick is surviving long enough to prove it.

The Zombie Walks – April 1968

A scream in the fog, a grip colder than death. The streets of London belong to the dead tonight. He doesn’t walk alone.

Twice the Entrance, Twice the Confusion—Twice the Entendre!

Front door, back door—same guy, same whirlwind. Golden Age comics knew how to keep things interesting.

HiT! delivers exactly what the title promises

A humorous peek at the wild side of mid-century scandal. Burlesque under fire, co-eds under scrutiny, and Maharajahs on the prowl.

The headlines go hard, the price stays 20 cents, and Jo Jordan works the phone like the fate of smut depends on it.

The Great Ape’s Last Laugh – One Step Closer to the Lobotomy Lounge!

Congratulations, you Knuckle-Dragging Nitro Junkies!

THE MACHINE WILL FEED YOU. OBEY.

Neon prophecy or fast-food dystopia? The glow hums, the message looms, and the shadows whisper compliance. What’s on the menu? Doesn’t matter. The machine decides..

The Great Ape wonders—nourishment or programming? Choose wisely.

THE LAST REDLINE—NO MERCY, NO SEATBELTS, NO REGRETS

The engine’s screaming, the skyline’s burning, and the Great Ape is already shifting into the next dimension. This ain’t some scenic cruise through the quiet streets of nostalgia—this is a demolition derby through the pop culture wasteland.

You made it. You survived. But survival ain’t the goal. De-Evolution waits for no one. The machine hums, the gears grind, and the throttle stays pinned to the floor. This Manifesto doesn’t brake. There is No Brake! In looking back – We Don’t Look Back! The Great Ape only knows one direction—through.

NEXT MONTH, THE FUSE GETS SHORTER, AND THE BLAST GETS BIGGER

If you thought this sweet ride was wild, you better check your pulse. Next issue? More speed. More fire. More absolute, unfiltered mayhem. The weak tap out. The unworthy hesitate. The fearless? They light the match and watch the world catch fire.

The Manifesto Maravillado BigBoy ain’t gunna slow down. The Great Ape’s Hulking Clodd Hopper is mashed to the Pedal!

So stay reckless. Stay rabid. And whatever you do—DON’T BLINK!—The weak tap out, the unworthy hesitate, the fearless light the match.

THE GREAT APE SEES ALL. THE GREAT APE KNOWS. THE GREAT APE APPROVES.

The countdown is dead. The gas is burning. The sky is wide open.

One way out. Straight through.

See you on the other side—or in my damn rearview.

Over and Out! The Great Ape has left the planet! Mission complete until Next Month!

Oh yer and the Great Ape did the thump the tubs on this one “Speak Cyborg or Die!” Give it a play!